So much going on in my life at this time I do not know where to begin. This is a relationship that has had some real issues over ten years but somehow we continue to keep coming back together. There has been lies, two EA's, a custody battle, and a struggle to rebuild trust.
That said, we parted ways for almost two years. In that time we both got to experience different things and we had changed, after some heavy flirting we decided to try once more. I had overcome several issues and put them behind me, I had always had trouble with this but it was nice for a change to start completely fresh.
We ended up having a 2nd child, things were extremely good in the relationship prior to this.. well sex was lacking but not so badly it was hurting the bond. Anyways, at the end of May I noticed she had reactivated her Facebook. Red flag, she had a EA with a ex flame through FB. She does not release the password to me but allows me to see the page while she sits there and watches me. Weird but whatever, she let me in. I noticed two things - status: single and a ex fling I know about. I instantly state that its disrespectful to me that those two things are there. She says she will change them. Another week goes by and I notice that she is changing her fashion style. More makeup to work, hair is done, and she is dieting...
I instantly get that gut feeling that something is really off and start talks with her to see whats up. She basically gives nothing, I will also state at this point we have not had any intimacy in a year and a half due to excused and what have you. After getting no where I state that she needs to figure out if she is staying or leaving because I cannot deal with somebody who wont talk to me about our relationship. Every day after that I tried to see where she was at on talks and only received - Im still thinking about it. During this time I noticed she carried her phone around a lot, FB messenger app was installed during this time. I spoke with my sister who is my absolute best friend, I needed a fresh set of eyes for the situation. She instantly states to kick her out - but also talks with my current SO to see what is up. Before she had the chance I just unleashed all my pent up frustration and ask my SO to leave the house. She stated she did not wish to be away from the kid s, after some back and forth she became incredibly hostile... she has gotten physical with me before but not for a long time. To avoid anything getting out of hand I state that I would call the police if needed... pretty much ended everything right there...
After that my sister talks my SO the next day which ends up in her coming home and stating they want to work on it because they cannot see themselves with anybody else. We talk for awhile, I mean, we have issues obviously and we need to put effort in working on them. We agree to work and try harder for the relationship.
Fast forward two weeks, I am trying like hell and receiving nothing from my SO. Im frustrated and begin to think that its a joke being played on me. I start to monitor her history and noticed she is logging into Facebook during the witching hour of night. I noticed a few issues but nothing major until three days ago when there started to be no history even though I know they were up late feeding the baby. Now the bad thing about history is that is does not show chat boxes but does show messages.
At this point I ask to check the FB again, I notice that she is still listed as single and also some messages from guys that I had seen previously were not in her PM inbox. Instantly we begin to hash it out and long story short, we have gotten no where. She states that she is upset that I was going to call the cops on her, and that she hasnt changed her status on FB because she doesnt know if this will work out in the long run.
Personally, I think its time for a keylogger. Purchased and installed already, I dont need evidence against her. I just need to know that we are done completely as the more we talk the more I feel she is playing head games because she knows I absolutely love her and Im faithful to a fault. Any other relationship with this many red flags I have ended and thought nothing of it but we her, only her - I cannot seem to drop.
Before things fell apart we were having issues with babysitters for a newborn which caused us to decide the person making lesser money at their job quit. I quit and am a stay at home Dad, I do all the chores and watch my kids during the day. I also seem to be watching over them most evenings as well.
I dont know what I am asking for or what I think I am going to get from this post. Honestly, I want to save this damn relationship but at the same time it is ruining me at my core. I guess I am wanting to get some information from others that have been in this situation because I know I am not alone here. Please, allow me to soak up any experience you yourself have been though and post some advice.
That said, we parted ways for almost two years. In that time we both got to experience different things and we had changed, after some heavy flirting we decided to try once more. I had overcome several issues and put them behind me, I had always had trouble with this but it was nice for a change to start completely fresh.
We ended up having a 2nd child, things were extremely good in the relationship prior to this.. well sex was lacking but not so badly it was hurting the bond. Anyways, at the end of May I noticed she had reactivated her Facebook. Red flag, she had a EA with a ex flame through FB. She does not release the password to me but allows me to see the page while she sits there and watches me. Weird but whatever, she let me in. I noticed two things - status: single and a ex fling I know about. I instantly state that its disrespectful to me that those two things are there. She says she will change them. Another week goes by and I notice that she is changing her fashion style. More makeup to work, hair is done, and she is dieting...
I instantly get that gut feeling that something is really off and start talks with her to see whats up. She basically gives nothing, I will also state at this point we have not had any intimacy in a year and a half due to excused and what have you. After getting no where I state that she needs to figure out if she is staying or leaving because I cannot deal with somebody who wont talk to me about our relationship. Every day after that I tried to see where she was at on talks and only received - Im still thinking about it. During this time I noticed she carried her phone around a lot, FB messenger app was installed during this time. I spoke with my sister who is my absolute best friend, I needed a fresh set of eyes for the situation. She instantly states to kick her out - but also talks with my current SO to see what is up. Before she had the chance I just unleashed all my pent up frustration and ask my SO to leave the house. She stated she did not wish to be away from the kid s, after some back and forth she became incredibly hostile... she has gotten physical with me before but not for a long time. To avoid anything getting out of hand I state that I would call the police if needed... pretty much ended everything right there...
After that my sister talks my SO the next day which ends up in her coming home and stating they want to work on it because they cannot see themselves with anybody else. We talk for awhile, I mean, we have issues obviously and we need to put effort in working on them. We agree to work and try harder for the relationship.
Fast forward two weeks, I am trying like hell and receiving nothing from my SO. Im frustrated and begin to think that its a joke being played on me. I start to monitor her history and noticed she is logging into Facebook during the witching hour of night. I noticed a few issues but nothing major until three days ago when there started to be no history even though I know they were up late feeding the baby. Now the bad thing about history is that is does not show chat boxes but does show messages.
At this point I ask to check the FB again, I notice that she is still listed as single and also some messages from guys that I had seen previously were not in her PM inbox. Instantly we begin to hash it out and long story short, we have gotten no where. She states that she is upset that I was going to call the cops on her, and that she hasnt changed her status on FB because she doesnt know if this will work out in the long run.
Personally, I think its time for a keylogger. Purchased and installed already, I dont need evidence against her. I just need to know that we are done completely as the more we talk the more I feel she is playing head games because she knows I absolutely love her and Im faithful to a fault. Any other relationship with this many red flags I have ended and thought nothing of it but we her, only her - I cannot seem to drop.
Before things fell apart we were having issues with babysitters for a newborn which caused us to decide the person making lesser money at their job quit. I quit and am a stay at home Dad, I do all the chores and watch my kids during the day. I also seem to be watching over them most evenings as well.
I dont know what I am asking for or what I think I am going to get from this post. Honestly, I want to save this damn relationship but at the same time it is ruining me at my core. I guess I am wanting to get some information from others that have been in this situation because I know I am not alone here. Please, allow me to soak up any experience you yourself have been though and post some advice.
Put the internet to work for you.
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