Facts:
-My husband cheated both physically(once) and cyberly(videochats, phone text/calls, email, instant messages) with an ex from 2009-2014
-married aug. '07
-had a daughter '08
We are currently living apart with joint custody of our daughter, however we've worked a lot out since Dday and am hopeful we can grow stronger from this and remain married. And although we are working everything out there's that one wall I have to climb over that I really don't know where to start.
It's the TIME! I feel like it was basically our entire marriage which is hard to swallow, but not only that my daughter is now 6 and it pains me to think about how he really wasn't present during those years because he was preoccupied with someone else. And even if I can get over the time I almost feel like I need to hold this grudge for her, because she doesn't know whats really going on and she's too young to really grasp his choices or actions. I just picture her this little baby just wanting the attention of her parents and her father texting away somewhere else. does that make sense? holding on to, basically not forgiving, for the child? I don't know any incite on this would be much appreciated.
Also I want to say that when I did confront him about everything we basically laid everything on the table, it was complete honesty on both parts about what our marriage is, how we both feel about each other, our marriage and ourselves. And because of the honesty that's helping us move forward but I can't completely recommit without knowing if I can ever get of the time aspect.
-My husband cheated both physically(once) and cyberly(videochats, phone text/calls, email, instant messages) with an ex from 2009-2014
-married aug. '07
-had a daughter '08
We are currently living apart with joint custody of our daughter, however we've worked a lot out since Dday and am hopeful we can grow stronger from this and remain married. And although we are working everything out there's that one wall I have to climb over that I really don't know where to start.
It's the TIME! I feel like it was basically our entire marriage which is hard to swallow, but not only that my daughter is now 6 and it pains me to think about how he really wasn't present during those years because he was preoccupied with someone else. And even if I can get over the time I almost feel like I need to hold this grudge for her, because she doesn't know whats really going on and she's too young to really grasp his choices or actions. I just picture her this little baby just wanting the attention of her parents and her father texting away somewhere else. does that make sense? holding on to, basically not forgiving, for the child? I don't know any incite on this would be much appreciated.
Also I want to say that when I did confront him about everything we basically laid everything on the table, it was complete honesty on both parts about what our marriage is, how we both feel about each other, our marriage and ourselves. And because of the honesty that's helping us move forward but I can't completely recommit without knowing if I can ever get of the time aspect.
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