Hi Everyone,
First time posting here.. Not really sure where else to go. My husband and I have been married for just under a year and we have seemed to have hit a little rock in the marriage.
Background on my husband and I. Dated for 10 years, lived together for 4 years.
He has a grumpy side, which upsets me occasionally, but I have learned to live with it most days.
I am a teacher and I have had quite a bit of stress the last couple of weeks due to wrapping up things etc.
We were in England for a wedding not long ago, where by the end of the trip tensions were high due to lot of family time and little us time. We ended up having a little spat about his drinking and I mentioned that I would divorce him if he were to become an alcoholic. I was out of line and I admitted it..There has been cases of where I have found hidden booze etc, which fuelled me that night. I love him dearly, and I know I should never pull that card out.
Any who,
Tonight after both having long days, he came home absolutely exhausted and wanted to be left alone. There was no, how was your day, how was the event yesterday nothing. I tried my best to just leave him and he mentioned to me that I seemed grumpy. I just wanted to leave him and allow him to be to himself.
Night progresses a little, wonders what we are having for dinner, I mention our usual favourite and he doesn't say much. At this point, he has come home multiple nights in a row in a mood and there are days where I just can't handle it.. It gets me thinking..
So I say to him " You know, when we have kids, you can't be in these moods and just assume I will be there to take over while you escape from reality and grump on the couch"
This of course sets him off. He starts mentioning that he is rarely like this, he worked multiple hours today etc.
He eventually admits to me that I am making him feel like I don't want to be with him. This leaves me absolutely shocked. I love my husband dearly and feel sick even thinking about losing him.
He says he has been thinking about it since the England trip and he said "You know, I am in it for the long haul. If you want to get out, just do it now, so you don't waste 3-4 years of my life"
I am truly hurt and not in a way that many of you think. I am hurt and mad at myself. I have allowed my words to cause this and now I am completely unable to find a means to make him feel like he should trust me. I told him over and over that I am too in the long haul and that I love him so much. Like mentioned, I could not imagine my life without him.
What I am seeking is advice.. Advice on how to prove to him that this is not the cause. I love him dearly and losing him would be like losing a part of myself. I cannot believe I said those things, but it was in spite and anger..
Sorry for the long winded explanation.
I know time will help.. but I want us to be "us" again.
Thanks!:confused:
First time posting here.. Not really sure where else to go. My husband and I have been married for just under a year and we have seemed to have hit a little rock in the marriage.
Background on my husband and I. Dated for 10 years, lived together for 4 years.
He has a grumpy side, which upsets me occasionally, but I have learned to live with it most days.
I am a teacher and I have had quite a bit of stress the last couple of weeks due to wrapping up things etc.
We were in England for a wedding not long ago, where by the end of the trip tensions were high due to lot of family time and little us time. We ended up having a little spat about his drinking and I mentioned that I would divorce him if he were to become an alcoholic. I was out of line and I admitted it..There has been cases of where I have found hidden booze etc, which fuelled me that night. I love him dearly, and I know I should never pull that card out.
Any who,
Tonight after both having long days, he came home absolutely exhausted and wanted to be left alone. There was no, how was your day, how was the event yesterday nothing. I tried my best to just leave him and he mentioned to me that I seemed grumpy. I just wanted to leave him and allow him to be to himself.
Night progresses a little, wonders what we are having for dinner, I mention our usual favourite and he doesn't say much. At this point, he has come home multiple nights in a row in a mood and there are days where I just can't handle it.. It gets me thinking..
So I say to him " You know, when we have kids, you can't be in these moods and just assume I will be there to take over while you escape from reality and grump on the couch"
This of course sets him off. He starts mentioning that he is rarely like this, he worked multiple hours today etc.
He eventually admits to me that I am making him feel like I don't want to be with him. This leaves me absolutely shocked. I love my husband dearly and feel sick even thinking about losing him.
He says he has been thinking about it since the England trip and he said "You know, I am in it for the long haul. If you want to get out, just do it now, so you don't waste 3-4 years of my life"
I am truly hurt and not in a way that many of you think. I am hurt and mad at myself. I have allowed my words to cause this and now I am completely unable to find a means to make him feel like he should trust me. I told him over and over that I am too in the long haul and that I love him so much. Like mentioned, I could not imagine my life without him.
What I am seeking is advice.. Advice on how to prove to him that this is not the cause. I love him dearly and losing him would be like losing a part of myself. I cannot believe I said those things, but it was in spite and anger..
Sorry for the long winded explanation.
I know time will help.. but I want us to be "us" again.
Thanks!:confused:
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