I have been married for 18 years. I have a 16 yr old daughter. I just desperately needed somewhere to talk about how hurt I am with my husband. We have not had it easy. I have suffered from mental illness our entire marriage. About two years ago I discovered that he had been using internet pornography sites for hat he said was 8 years. I confronted him when I got suspicious and found the truth. I had also encountered this before we wed when he threw away some porn tapes and about 3 years after that when I found him watching it late one night and doing "the deed to it". He says he has never cheated on me physically but I just can't believe it for some reason. I never will believe him. We had another huge fight today and he said it was 50% my fault. I was not here for him he said. He is angry at me. I hurt so bad and being bipolar doesn't help because when I bring it up he says I need help. Am I really the problem? Is it 50% my fault? I am so hurt and can't move past this. I don't trust him. I can't say what I did today due to forum rules I believe but it ended with him shoving me down twice and hitting my head on the door frame. H ehas only hurt me once before this when I wanted to run away from it all. I just needed to tell someone. Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this. I just needed to say it.I was going to explode if I didn't. Don't know what to do anymore. Can't let this go.
Put the internet to work for you.
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