Nice vs. Kind
by Chump Lady on April 29, 2014
There was an interesting side discussion the other day on Chump Lady about the difference between niceness and kindness. Many people noted that their cheaters appeared to much of the world as "nice people," but in point of fact, lacked kindness. (Sure, it's an understatement to say that cheating is unkind.)
Now, I don't want to diss niceness, after all I am from the Midwest and its our default setting, but a lot of being nice is simply impression management. See? I come in peace! You can trust me, I'm nice! Nice works if you're in sales. That's why (at least here in the U.S., any way) salespeople are always encouraged to compliment you or end each transaction with "Have a nice day!"
I enjoy the social lubrication of nice. I want a nice person to bag my groceries. But at the end of the day, I just want my groceries bagged, the attitude with which you do it is optional. If I just got nice and no bagged groceries, that would suck.
"That's a beautiful sweater you're wearing!"
"Um, thanks. Could you please bag my groceries?"
"Lovely weather we're having!"
"Uh, sir? There's a line forming. Is this one of those bag-it-yourself places? Did I choose the self-check line?"
"Have a nice day!"
This is the cognitive dissonance of cheater nice. It's nice without the bagged groceries. It's pleasantry without substance. It's all cherry and no sundae. (read the rest here)
by Chump Lady on April 29, 2014
There was an interesting side discussion the other day on Chump Lady about the difference between niceness and kindness. Many people noted that their cheaters appeared to much of the world as "nice people," but in point of fact, lacked kindness. (Sure, it's an understatement to say that cheating is unkind.)
Now, I don't want to diss niceness, after all I am from the Midwest and its our default setting, but a lot of being nice is simply impression management. See? I come in peace! You can trust me, I'm nice! Nice works if you're in sales. That's why (at least here in the U.S., any way) salespeople are always encouraged to compliment you or end each transaction with "Have a nice day!"
I enjoy the social lubrication of nice. I want a nice person to bag my groceries. But at the end of the day, I just want my groceries bagged, the attitude with which you do it is optional. If I just got nice and no bagged groceries, that would suck.
"That's a beautiful sweater you're wearing!"
"Um, thanks. Could you please bag my groceries?"
"Lovely weather we're having!"
"Uh, sir? There's a line forming. Is this one of those bag-it-yourself places? Did I choose the self-check line?"
"Have a nice day!"
This is the cognitive dissonance of cheater nice. It's nice without the bagged groceries. It's pleasantry without substance. It's all cherry and no sundae. (read the rest here)
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment