I have been married for 15 years and for the most part I feel like we are in a good relationship. We have two great kids and are plugged into their life. We are comfortable; still have fun together and laugh regularly; we are affectionate...decent sex life. But I often struggle with this sense that my husband loves me but is not really in love with me. He rarely says I love you. He never comments on my looks. We can be dressed up and headed out and I will tell him he looks nice and he only responds with a thank you. Never a "you look great too." When we get home from work, I always ask him about his day and he isn't all that interested in sharing details (about work or much else) and he never ask me about my day.
When we were first dating and married, he would plan fun weekends or go out of his way to celebrate my birthday. He was very attentive and engaged and that has all changed. I still do that for him but it's not reciprocated. It's like he just isn't "in to me" anymore. He spends so much of his free time playing the same game on his ipad or on his computer and his actions have somewhat made it clear that he puts our kids before us. We have a teenage daughter and she and I have normal mother/daughter issues. She can be really ugly to me and he many times takes her side. Not always but a lot.
I am about 25 pds overweight but am working on that and working hard to step up my game a little. Started getting my nails done, exercising regularly, updating my wardrobe, etc. He hasn't noticed or commented. I feel like he just isn't attracted to me any longer. I can't fully verbalize it because as stated, in many so ways we have a good relationship. My friends constantly tell me they are envious of what we have.
Am I being high maintenance or expecting too much? I know relationships change through the years and maybe this is normal and I need to be thankful that I am married to a guy that does love me, is a good provider, father, etc. I guess my real question is how can I get my husband to fall "in love" with me again and not just make me feel like he is going through the motions to honor his vows.
When we were first dating and married, he would plan fun weekends or go out of his way to celebrate my birthday. He was very attentive and engaged and that has all changed. I still do that for him but it's not reciprocated. It's like he just isn't "in to me" anymore. He spends so much of his free time playing the same game on his ipad or on his computer and his actions have somewhat made it clear that he puts our kids before us. We have a teenage daughter and she and I have normal mother/daughter issues. She can be really ugly to me and he many times takes her side. Not always but a lot.
I am about 25 pds overweight but am working on that and working hard to step up my game a little. Started getting my nails done, exercising regularly, updating my wardrobe, etc. He hasn't noticed or commented. I feel like he just isn't attracted to me any longer. I can't fully verbalize it because as stated, in many so ways we have a good relationship. My friends constantly tell me they are envious of what we have.
Am I being high maintenance or expecting too much? I know relationships change through the years and maybe this is normal and I need to be thankful that I am married to a guy that does love me, is a good provider, father, etc. I guess my real question is how can I get my husband to fall "in love" with me again and not just make me feel like he is going through the motions to honor his vows.
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