For various reasons, I feel really uncomfortable around my mother-in-law. Some of them pertain to things she's said and done, and some of them pertain to my own issues. Since I want to maintain anonymity, suffice it to say we're both human, and neither of us are perfect.
I decided a while back that I'd rather spend time with her with my husband and his whole family, since this is more comfortable for me, but she's constantly trying to plan things for just the two of us.
Up until now, I've politely declined those invitations, but she seems to have a real strong need to form a close bond with me. I don't fault her for that, but I plain and simply don't want it--and the guilt has been killing me.
Can anyone relate? Does anyone else feel more comfortable having a cordial but not mother-daughter or BFF relationship with their MIL? And how exactly can I do that, when she seems determined to spend a lot of time alone with me? I don't want to put my husband in the middle, which I've done far too often. But I really don't know how else to create the boundaries I want in this relationship. (I may soften those boundaries in time, but I don't feel comfortable right now.)
I appreciate any insight and advice!
UPDATE: I understand why she would want to be close to me, but I really feel uncomfortable around her, for various reasons that I did not include to protect both of our anonymity. While I appreciate the advice to give closeness a chance, I would also appreciate advice that addresses how to create the relationship I want (a cordial, but not super close one), as that's all I feel comfortable with at this point in time.
I decided a while back that I'd rather spend time with her with my husband and his whole family, since this is more comfortable for me, but she's constantly trying to plan things for just the two of us.
Up until now, I've politely declined those invitations, but she seems to have a real strong need to form a close bond with me. I don't fault her for that, but I plain and simply don't want it--and the guilt has been killing me.
Can anyone relate? Does anyone else feel more comfortable having a cordial but not mother-daughter or BFF relationship with their MIL? And how exactly can I do that, when she seems determined to spend a lot of time alone with me? I don't want to put my husband in the middle, which I've done far too often. But I really don't know how else to create the boundaries I want in this relationship. (I may soften those boundaries in time, but I don't feel comfortable right now.)
I appreciate any insight and advice!
UPDATE: I understand why she would want to be close to me, but I really feel uncomfortable around her, for various reasons that I did not include to protect both of our anonymity. While I appreciate the advice to give closeness a chance, I would also appreciate advice that addresses how to create the relationship I want (a cordial, but not super close one), as that's all I feel comfortable with at this point in time.
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