Hello all, I'm new to this forum, my first time doing this. so bear with the newbie. sorry for the lost rants, I'm loosing my mind.
My Wife (26yr) and I (34yr) have been together for 6 yrs. married for 3. We have 2 beautiful kids, son is 4, daughter is 2.
I only work, she stays home with children. I recently discovered my Wife having an EA about 3 weeks ago, that has been going on for 11 months, ( I'm Devastated). Luckily this douche-bag lives in another state, so I know no PA has happened.yet. I initially was very hurt, depressed, betrayed, all that. I have not left my home, Family is very important to me, I love her with everything and want to make this work. I don't want to give up.
I've done some research as to WHY? I wasn't aware of "EA's", as I started reading into this topic, yes this situation falls into exactly what created her to reach out to someone. She has told me that she is not in love with me anymore and hasn't been for 2 yrs. but still loves me? ya
It's been a difficult time financially since we had our first born, she quit work to stay home with the baby, so we struggled a bit financially. Other than that things were good, I realize that now. I say this because I now know that I wasn't there for her emotionally these past 2 years. I kinda got lost in the everyday struggle to make ends meet. Thinking that as long as I can support the family and be faithful to her, that, that was enough for her to struggle with me, stand by me and eventually things would get better. I WAS F'EN WRONG. I see that now, long story short, we disconnected because I didn't keep "flowering the love plant" just was worried about making ends meet.
We separated when my son was 1.5yr, she then told me she was not in love, but I persisted on keeping the family together,that i would change my ways, so she moved back in 3 weeks later. That's when she got prego with my daughter. But since her moving back in, I NEVER CHANGED, which eventually led her to reach out to this douch-bag via ps3 gaming, ya pathetic.
Now I learned that they have communicated for 11 months and text now everyday almost all day. They call each other while I'm at work.
When i confronted her, she lied at first then admitted to this EA. But she tells me she wants to have fun before commiting the rest of her life to me. She wants me to let her have a ONS out of state with this guy and she wants to come back to me, and "fall back in love"?
We try to communicate about this issue, we talk about this guy. She admits that there is no future with this guy, NO JOB, sell drugs, living with wife and kid, (which they live an open marriage relationship) and has another kid with another woman, Just bad news. She claims it's a physical attraction and that's it. she says she never experienced life like i had, ( I was a single bachelor all my 20's), so she wants to **** this guy and end all communication with him, come back to me to work on us for rest of our lives. WTF?
i can't do it, but I'm willing to do whatever for my kids, they are young, I know they will be fine, but not the same.
I'm scared, lost....................any and all comments appreciated
My Wife (26yr) and I (34yr) have been together for 6 yrs. married for 3. We have 2 beautiful kids, son is 4, daughter is 2.
I only work, she stays home with children. I recently discovered my Wife having an EA about 3 weeks ago, that has been going on for 11 months, ( I'm Devastated). Luckily this douche-bag lives in another state, so I know no PA has happened.yet. I initially was very hurt, depressed, betrayed, all that. I have not left my home, Family is very important to me, I love her with everything and want to make this work. I don't want to give up.
I've done some research as to WHY? I wasn't aware of "EA's", as I started reading into this topic, yes this situation falls into exactly what created her to reach out to someone. She has told me that she is not in love with me anymore and hasn't been for 2 yrs. but still loves me? ya
It's been a difficult time financially since we had our first born, she quit work to stay home with the baby, so we struggled a bit financially. Other than that things were good, I realize that now. I say this because I now know that I wasn't there for her emotionally these past 2 years. I kinda got lost in the everyday struggle to make ends meet. Thinking that as long as I can support the family and be faithful to her, that, that was enough for her to struggle with me, stand by me and eventually things would get better. I WAS F'EN WRONG. I see that now, long story short, we disconnected because I didn't keep "flowering the love plant" just was worried about making ends meet.
We separated when my son was 1.5yr, she then told me she was not in love, but I persisted on keeping the family together,that i would change my ways, so she moved back in 3 weeks later. That's when she got prego with my daughter. But since her moving back in, I NEVER CHANGED, which eventually led her to reach out to this douch-bag via ps3 gaming, ya pathetic.
Now I learned that they have communicated for 11 months and text now everyday almost all day. They call each other while I'm at work.
When i confronted her, she lied at first then admitted to this EA. But she tells me she wants to have fun before commiting the rest of her life to me. She wants me to let her have a ONS out of state with this guy and she wants to come back to me, and "fall back in love"?
We try to communicate about this issue, we talk about this guy. She admits that there is no future with this guy, NO JOB, sell drugs, living with wife and kid, (which they live an open marriage relationship) and has another kid with another woman, Just bad news. She claims it's a physical attraction and that's it. she says she never experienced life like i had, ( I was a single bachelor all my 20's), so she wants to **** this guy and end all communication with him, come back to me to work on us for rest of our lives. WTF?
i can't do it, but I'm willing to do whatever for my kids, they are young, I know they will be fine, but not the same.
I'm scared, lost....................any and all comments appreciated
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