This is stupid to even go on about, but I'm driving myself crazy trying to decide if I'm right about my view or if I'm totally wrong an don't even have a leg to stand on. (And I need to vent a little.)
So here goes...
The night before last, my husband and I both only got an hour or two of sleep. The next morning we both got up with the kids. I changed the diapers, got the sippy cups, passed out the meds to the kids, and then sat down. Then my H started saying he was hungry. He has this thing where he'll say he's hungry every five minutes but will never think of anything he wants, so I always start naming off different foods.
I finally asked if he wanted bacon, and he said yes. So, I went to put a pack of (frozen) bacon in the sink to thaw. Then I pulled out my finances notebook and started trying to sort out bills. We've been struggling in the money department lately and its been on my mind so much that I spend every spare minute trying to work out our budget. I ended up on the phone with one of the companies for an expensive bill trying to work out some arrangements. I finally got off the phone and was on my way to the kitchen because I could tell my H was getting impatient. He went to go smoke and found our son pulling an empty cup of yogurt out of the trashcan, and flipped out. He spanked our son and sat him in time out and on his way down the hall way, and on his way through he popped off with "he's probably doing that because he's hungry". Never mind that I'd fed him less than two hours ago, and never mind that I'm pretty sure most kids get into things they shouldn't. Anyway, it sou nded really snide and it rubbed me wrong because it made it sound like breakfast was running late because I was sitting on my butt watching tv and not doing anything productive.
After he got done smoking he came to the kitchen and asked me what was wrong and I told him that I really didn't appreciate the snide remark and he went off the handle. He kept saying to move the trashcan to the kitchen and I said no, because its a small apartment kitchen and there's no room for it in there. I said I would just keep our son away from the trash can. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because he started threatening to break the baby gate I have that blocks off the kitchen because "it's not right that I get to decide what gets baby proofed and what doesn't". He started to take down the gate and I tried to stop him and told him to leave [I]my[I] gate alone because I bought it. So then he throws out the remark that none of what I buy is mine because I'm a SAHM. I got upset and started crying and he called me an immature jackass. He threatens to leave or just go to sleep, even after I get the bacon finished, so I tell him to just go back to be beca use I was done arguing. So he throws the gate down and says if I put it back up then he'll snap it in half. I put it back up anyway, because my kids all know how to open the oven and cabinets and drawers. Of course he got mad when he saw the gate again, so then he just went through the kitchen and ripped out all of those cabinet and drawer stops, the kind that screw into the insides of the doors.
I went about my business getting the kids fed again and then down for naptime later, then he bring it up again. This time the tactic is "I tried to come onto you last night and you rejected me".
Totally floored. I still have NO CLUE what he's referring to. The night we didn't get much sleep we laid down at maybe five thirty that morning and he wanted to know what's in it for him if he gave me an orgasm. So I said "I don't know baby, what do you want out of it?" Thinking hell yeah, I'm getting laid. So then he says "I don't know", and after I ended up finishing what he'd started, he backed up away from me and went all cold shoulder and fell asleep. I find out later that it hurt his feelings, but running on fumes sleep wise paired with what seemed like a husband that seemed like he couldn't care less about having sex, I didn't catch on right.
The fight is over now and hasn't been brought up, but I can't seem to forget how he called me a jackass and yelled at me.
So I don't know. I feel like I'm not wrong, by I feel like I handled things wrong. So much lately it seems like I'm just biding my time and I like the nights he's at work more than he's at home because his moods are just too much most of the time.
So can somebody please give their opinion or some advice about how I should have handled this differently or what I could change about how I handle future arguments with him?
So here goes...
The night before last, my husband and I both only got an hour or two of sleep. The next morning we both got up with the kids. I changed the diapers, got the sippy cups, passed out the meds to the kids, and then sat down. Then my H started saying he was hungry. He has this thing where he'll say he's hungry every five minutes but will never think of anything he wants, so I always start naming off different foods.
I finally asked if he wanted bacon, and he said yes. So, I went to put a pack of (frozen) bacon in the sink to thaw. Then I pulled out my finances notebook and started trying to sort out bills. We've been struggling in the money department lately and its been on my mind so much that I spend every spare minute trying to work out our budget. I ended up on the phone with one of the companies for an expensive bill trying to work out some arrangements. I finally got off the phone and was on my way to the kitchen because I could tell my H was getting impatient. He went to go smoke and found our son pulling an empty cup of yogurt out of the trashcan, and flipped out. He spanked our son and sat him in time out and on his way down the hall way, and on his way through he popped off with "he's probably doing that because he's hungry". Never mind that I'd fed him less than two hours ago, and never mind that I'm pretty sure most kids get into things they shouldn't. Anyway, it sou nded really snide and it rubbed me wrong because it made it sound like breakfast was running late because I was sitting on my butt watching tv and not doing anything productive.
After he got done smoking he came to the kitchen and asked me what was wrong and I told him that I really didn't appreciate the snide remark and he went off the handle. He kept saying to move the trashcan to the kitchen and I said no, because its a small apartment kitchen and there's no room for it in there. I said I would just keep our son away from the trash can. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because he started threatening to break the baby gate I have that blocks off the kitchen because "it's not right that I get to decide what gets baby proofed and what doesn't". He started to take down the gate and I tried to stop him and told him to leave [I]my[I] gate alone because I bought it. So then he throws out the remark that none of what I buy is mine because I'm a SAHM. I got upset and started crying and he called me an immature jackass. He threatens to leave or just go to sleep, even after I get the bacon finished, so I tell him to just go back to be beca use I was done arguing. So he throws the gate down and says if I put it back up then he'll snap it in half. I put it back up anyway, because my kids all know how to open the oven and cabinets and drawers. Of course he got mad when he saw the gate again, so then he just went through the kitchen and ripped out all of those cabinet and drawer stops, the kind that screw into the insides of the doors.
I went about my business getting the kids fed again and then down for naptime later, then he bring it up again. This time the tactic is "I tried to come onto you last night and you rejected me".
Totally floored. I still have NO CLUE what he's referring to. The night we didn't get much sleep we laid down at maybe five thirty that morning and he wanted to know what's in it for him if he gave me an orgasm. So I said "I don't know baby, what do you want out of it?" Thinking hell yeah, I'm getting laid. So then he says "I don't know", and after I ended up finishing what he'd started, he backed up away from me and went all cold shoulder and fell asleep. I find out later that it hurt his feelings, but running on fumes sleep wise paired with what seemed like a husband that seemed like he couldn't care less about having sex, I didn't catch on right.
The fight is over now and hasn't been brought up, but I can't seem to forget how he called me a jackass and yelled at me.
So I don't know. I feel like I'm not wrong, by I feel like I handled things wrong. So much lately it seems like I'm just biding my time and I like the nights he's at work more than he's at home because his moods are just too much most of the time.
So can somebody please give their opinion or some advice about how I should have handled this differently or what I could change about how I handle future arguments with him?
Put the internet to work for you.
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