Hi all. I am seriously considering divorce and have been doing all the reading up and research on the topic. We've been married 22 years and have three children between the ages of 11 and 18. Our 18 year old is still in H.S. so is still living at home and will most likely not be leaving for several years to come. Which is fine with both H and myself.
I'm just not happy for several various reasons and have finally faced the fact that I just plain and simply can't tolerate my spouses personality. I think he'd be happier in the long run as well if we split up.
As far as I'm concerned there shouldn't be to much trouble deciding custody (50/50) and asset division. We have no debts other than our mortgage. There might be some squabbling over who gets the house, it's a small mortgage compared to rent on apartments.
The one thing that's stopping me is my horrible job prospects. As a SAHM I did work some, just not enough to really cement myself experience wise in any particular industry. I delivered newspapers, worked at a small retail shop, and am now in a delivery job. All minimum wage part time jobs with no advancement opportunities.
I literally have no marketable job skills. I'm over 40, I think that is going to be a roadblock. We live in a state that does not have alimony but something else called maintenance, and from what I'm reading this maintenance is only awarded in limited circumstances. So plans to go back to school for training may be unfeasible for me with out that financial assistance maintenance would provide. BTW Hubs made just under 100K this past year while I made just over 5K.
I need some encouragement folks. I know this can be done. Many SAHP's have gone before me to divorce and build a life for themselves and their children right? I guess my fear is I don't want my kids to suffer and I don't want to live in a constant state of worry about finances. I know things will be rough at times, it seems that's just the realty of it all, but I fear I will fail. I can't bear the thought of failing at this. I personally know of one SAHM who is now living in a shelter and never sees her kids because things have not gone well for her after divorce. I cannot tolerate the thought of losing my kids. This has me frozen in my tracks.
To all of you who have walked down this road, what did you do? How did you do it? Is there anything you would change knowing what you know now? I need to know there are successful people out there who've been there and done that.
I haven't talked to an attorney yet, I'm taking my time as I research this on my own first. But if anyone in the state of IN in particular has any words of either advise or caution I'd love you forever!:)
I'm just not happy for several various reasons and have finally faced the fact that I just plain and simply can't tolerate my spouses personality. I think he'd be happier in the long run as well if we split up.
As far as I'm concerned there shouldn't be to much trouble deciding custody (50/50) and asset division. We have no debts other than our mortgage. There might be some squabbling over who gets the house, it's a small mortgage compared to rent on apartments.
The one thing that's stopping me is my horrible job prospects. As a SAHM I did work some, just not enough to really cement myself experience wise in any particular industry. I delivered newspapers, worked at a small retail shop, and am now in a delivery job. All minimum wage part time jobs with no advancement opportunities.
I literally have no marketable job skills. I'm over 40, I think that is going to be a roadblock. We live in a state that does not have alimony but something else called maintenance, and from what I'm reading this maintenance is only awarded in limited circumstances. So plans to go back to school for training may be unfeasible for me with out that financial assistance maintenance would provide. BTW Hubs made just under 100K this past year while I made just over 5K.
I need some encouragement folks. I know this can be done. Many SAHP's have gone before me to divorce and build a life for themselves and their children right? I guess my fear is I don't want my kids to suffer and I don't want to live in a constant state of worry about finances. I know things will be rough at times, it seems that's just the realty of it all, but I fear I will fail. I can't bear the thought of failing at this. I personally know of one SAHM who is now living in a shelter and never sees her kids because things have not gone well for her after divorce. I cannot tolerate the thought of losing my kids. This has me frozen in my tracks.
To all of you who have walked down this road, what did you do? How did you do it? Is there anything you would change knowing what you know now? I need to know there are successful people out there who've been there and done that.
I haven't talked to an attorney yet, I'm taking my time as I research this on my own first. But if anyone in the state of IN in particular has any words of either advise or caution I'd love you forever!:)
Put the internet to work for you.
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