Quick Background about me: I have Aspergers. Met a boy in college and dated for the first time. We broke up everyday, but we dated even more crazily each day. Finally we actually broke up. He took the walk and never looked back. It's been four years.
Four years ago, during those months when I was screaming in bed alone or sitting in the streets like I lost my life I met somebody else who actually comforted me, listened to all my rants and was there for me.
The pain stayed, everyday I woke up and my heart sank at the thoughts of losing him. But then again my new-found friend (lets call him dan) would come around or I would hang out with other people. Sometimes I felt that dan is really uncomfortable when I meet other people.
People started proposing and I tried to stay away from taking quick decisions. Dan I got into such comfort levels as 2 years went by, that he would openly tell me that he feels jealous when I meet other boys and I would tell him about every proposal or hang out. Absolutely nothing to hide from each other. Such comfort levels - that we could get close - be able to get each other off - without direct contact with private parts (Both of us want to stay virgin till we marry somebody)
I went on my first international trip (16 hours away from my homeland) to Chicago, to do my internship for a few months. After a few weeks Dan arrived in Chicago and proposed. It was all too quick and Chicago was romantic and everything seemed well - I said yes. We got back home few months later and I said I can't do this anymore and he perfectly understood.
College is over. This year I'm a working woman. My relationships are a mess. If somebody asks me: "do you want someone in your life?" I would say yes. "Is it dan you see as your partner?" No I don't want to marry Dan it would be so awkward, I don't know if I love him or love the time I spend with him. But also, I cannot imagine him going away. I can't imagine life without him.
Four years ago, during those months when I was screaming in bed alone or sitting in the streets like I lost my life I met somebody else who actually comforted me, listened to all my rants and was there for me.
The pain stayed, everyday I woke up and my heart sank at the thoughts of losing him. But then again my new-found friend (lets call him dan) would come around or I would hang out with other people. Sometimes I felt that dan is really uncomfortable when I meet other people.
People started proposing and I tried to stay away from taking quick decisions. Dan I got into such comfort levels as 2 years went by, that he would openly tell me that he feels jealous when I meet other boys and I would tell him about every proposal or hang out. Absolutely nothing to hide from each other. Such comfort levels - that we could get close - be able to get each other off - without direct contact with private parts (Both of us want to stay virgin till we marry somebody)
I went on my first international trip (16 hours away from my homeland) to Chicago, to do my internship for a few months. After a few weeks Dan arrived in Chicago and proposed. It was all too quick and Chicago was romantic and everything seemed well - I said yes. We got back home few months later and I said I can't do this anymore and he perfectly understood.
College is over. This year I'm a working woman. My relationships are a mess. If somebody asks me: "do you want someone in your life?" I would say yes. "Is it dan you see as your partner?" No I don't want to marry Dan it would be so awkward, I don't know if I love him or love the time I spend with him. But also, I cannot imagine him going away. I can't imagine life without him.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment