Together 13 years
Married 9
Live in separation 1 year
no children
This January 27 makes one year since my husband asked for a divorce after I discovered his emotional affair with his coworker and demanded he break it off. Ive struggled with employment issues due to health problems and was recently diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis. He has a stable career and has been the primary bread winner of our family. He also has a very stressful job which adds to our problems and we also have a 10 year age difference. Im 30 and he is 40.
He blames my inability to keep steady employment and my struggle with depression as one of the apparent many reasons he doesn't want our marriage anymore. I have been employed for the past 6 years but was put on leave for almost 1 year due to my MS. As with everyone else's stories; there are so many details that to this mess that I don't want to paint him off as a bad person and I'm at this point am trying to figure out whats my next move.
We still live together because he originally wanted me out our apartment but both of our names are on the lease and a few older friends of mine press that i shouldn't leave because i'll lose my rights whenever the divorce comes. After a few weeks last year He has made clear he doesn't want a divorce but doesn't want to be with me anymore( this has more to do with the type of job he has) "cheaper to keep her" issues that I have become aware of.
During this whole ordeal he still has been somewhat supportive of my health problems and continuing to do what he normally would do. but there is no warmth or intimacy since last year. We don't have much of a dialog and as of late he started sleeping in the living room( In my sad attempt to "save " our relationship i told him we could continue as normal) which he seems fine with but he put the breaks on intimacy and I love you's last year in april.
Ive justified staying here because the only place I can stay is my mothers and we have a bad relationship; along with too many people living with her already. No friends place to crash either. But I also know that this living situation is breaking me down more. Ive gotten better I think because I've tried mediating and seeking counseling for myself but I see that we have become comfortable in this uncomfortable situation. I also fear that leaving will cement this more ... This is my sad attempt at saving something that obviously doesn't exist anymore.
Married 9
Live in separation 1 year
no children
This January 27 makes one year since my husband asked for a divorce after I discovered his emotional affair with his coworker and demanded he break it off. Ive struggled with employment issues due to health problems and was recently diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis. He has a stable career and has been the primary bread winner of our family. He also has a very stressful job which adds to our problems and we also have a 10 year age difference. Im 30 and he is 40.
He blames my inability to keep steady employment and my struggle with depression as one of the apparent many reasons he doesn't want our marriage anymore. I have been employed for the past 6 years but was put on leave for almost 1 year due to my MS. As with everyone else's stories; there are so many details that to this mess that I don't want to paint him off as a bad person and I'm at this point am trying to figure out whats my next move.
We still live together because he originally wanted me out our apartment but both of our names are on the lease and a few older friends of mine press that i shouldn't leave because i'll lose my rights whenever the divorce comes. After a few weeks last year He has made clear he doesn't want a divorce but doesn't want to be with me anymore( this has more to do with the type of job he has) "cheaper to keep her" issues that I have become aware of.
During this whole ordeal he still has been somewhat supportive of my health problems and continuing to do what he normally would do. but there is no warmth or intimacy since last year. We don't have much of a dialog and as of late he started sleeping in the living room( In my sad attempt to "save " our relationship i told him we could continue as normal) which he seems fine with but he put the breaks on intimacy and I love you's last year in april.
Ive justified staying here because the only place I can stay is my mothers and we have a bad relationship; along with too many people living with her already. No friends place to crash either. But I also know that this living situation is breaking me down more. Ive gotten better I think because I've tried mediating and seeking counseling for myself but I see that we have become comfortable in this uncomfortable situation. I also fear that leaving will cement this more ... This is my sad attempt at saving something that obviously doesn't exist anymore.
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