Let me provide some background to my story. Known STBXH for 12yrs and together for 9 yrs (dated for 2yrs and married for 7 yrs). There have been a lot of emotional abuse which I realized recently.
D-Day: My co-worker saw STBXH with a lady and the interaction was strange. I asked him about it and he replied that she was just his workout partner. I let it go.
That evening, he sat me down and told me he wanted to end the marriage. As for the reasons, he stated he been unhappy for the last 5 years, how he gained weight because I made him so unhappy that he no longer care about himself, and how he was drinking himself to death because of me. I asked him if this was all because of his workout partner. He looked me straight into my eyes and said he will never disrespect me like that. I believed him and just thought I was a horrible wife. I was devasted and packed my bags to stay at my sister's house that night as I just could not be in the same house with him. He moved out the next day.
After he moved out, I found out that he was cheating by looking at our cell phone bills. I realized he lied to me and he did in fact cheated on me. I filed for divorce soon after stating adultery was the reason for the divorce. He countered my petition with I am guilty of cruel treatment towards him. I was so shocked that he could allow this to be said about me. 7 yrs and all I got back was cruel treatment.
Since then, I just keep on uncovering more and more lies. During the discovery process, I found out that he have been buying this workout partner gifts even while he was at home. A wallet that cost over $500. Then, I discovered he have been financially dishonest with me from the beginning of our marriage. I also found evidence of him paying for someone's utility bill once which was 2 years ago. I dealt with those emotions and was on my way to recovery.
This pass weekend I was organizing some boxes that have not been unpacked since our move. I uncovered more lies. I found a community college diploma but he always told me he went to a 4 yr college. I can only assume this was a lie as well as there is no 4 yr college diploma to be located (he is a pack rat). I also located an emergency travel kit that is provided by our company for traveling to 3rd world countries. As soon as I unzipped it, 3 condoms dropped out.
Now I am just sitting here in shock. I cannot stop thinking what else he lied about. How do I get over this? How could I have been so naive that I lived in all these lies and knew nothing about it? How can I ever trust anyone again? How can I ever trust my judgement of people again?
D-Day: My co-worker saw STBXH with a lady and the interaction was strange. I asked him about it and he replied that she was just his workout partner. I let it go.
That evening, he sat me down and told me he wanted to end the marriage. As for the reasons, he stated he been unhappy for the last 5 years, how he gained weight because I made him so unhappy that he no longer care about himself, and how he was drinking himself to death because of me. I asked him if this was all because of his workout partner. He looked me straight into my eyes and said he will never disrespect me like that. I believed him and just thought I was a horrible wife. I was devasted and packed my bags to stay at my sister's house that night as I just could not be in the same house with him. He moved out the next day.
After he moved out, I found out that he was cheating by looking at our cell phone bills. I realized he lied to me and he did in fact cheated on me. I filed for divorce soon after stating adultery was the reason for the divorce. He countered my petition with I am guilty of cruel treatment towards him. I was so shocked that he could allow this to be said about me. 7 yrs and all I got back was cruel treatment.
Since then, I just keep on uncovering more and more lies. During the discovery process, I found out that he have been buying this workout partner gifts even while he was at home. A wallet that cost over $500. Then, I discovered he have been financially dishonest with me from the beginning of our marriage. I also found evidence of him paying for someone's utility bill once which was 2 years ago. I dealt with those emotions and was on my way to recovery.
This pass weekend I was organizing some boxes that have not been unpacked since our move. I uncovered more lies. I found a community college diploma but he always told me he went to a 4 yr college. I can only assume this was a lie as well as there is no 4 yr college diploma to be located (he is a pack rat). I also located an emergency travel kit that is provided by our company for traveling to 3rd world countries. As soon as I unzipped it, 3 condoms dropped out.
Now I am just sitting here in shock. I cannot stop thinking what else he lied about. How do I get over this? How could I have been so naive that I lived in all these lies and knew nothing about it? How can I ever trust anyone again? How can I ever trust my judgement of people again?
Put the internet to work for you.
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