I am just curious if others have had similar experiences with their parents. I am 30 years and have not lived with my parents since I was 19. I occasionally visit my parents twice a year, staying for a week at a time. I would say my relationship with my parents is ok but there has been one thing that has really bothered me the past few years.
My parents never initiate contact with me unless they need money or something to that effect. I call my parents about once every two weeks to tell them what's going on in my life and to find out what's going on in theirs. Very rarely do my parents phone, email or instant message me. Unless I'm around for holidays or birthdays, I never receive a card or gift. Most often, I send a card with a gift card to my parents and siblings.
My parents reasoning for no contact is they often forget or the classic - I was just about to phone. They also don't send cards or gifts because my mom doesn't like sending stuff in the mail or says she has sent something and it must have been lost.
I know this is not normal behaviour but my parents are the same with both my siblings and other family members/friends - only speak with them when others make the effort.
I am somewhat hurt that I am always the one to initiate contact and kind of made peace with the fact that I'll always be the one phoning but I would like my parents to make more of an effort. I have spoken to them about this before but nothing seems to sink in.
So my questions are, are their others who have experienced this and how did you deal with it?
I often worry that something is going to happen to my parents and I'll regret not talking to them enough. It does get tiring always to be the one to initiate.
As a side note, my dad had a heart attack years ago and I was contacted about this until 5 days after it happened when I phoned up my mom to see how things were. I wish she had phoned me when it happened, in case something happened to my dad.
My parents never initiate contact with me unless they need money or something to that effect. I call my parents about once every two weeks to tell them what's going on in my life and to find out what's going on in theirs. Very rarely do my parents phone, email or instant message me. Unless I'm around for holidays or birthdays, I never receive a card or gift. Most often, I send a card with a gift card to my parents and siblings.
My parents reasoning for no contact is they often forget or the classic - I was just about to phone. They also don't send cards or gifts because my mom doesn't like sending stuff in the mail or says she has sent something and it must have been lost.
I know this is not normal behaviour but my parents are the same with both my siblings and other family members/friends - only speak with them when others make the effort.
I am somewhat hurt that I am always the one to initiate contact and kind of made peace with the fact that I'll always be the one phoning but I would like my parents to make more of an effort. I have spoken to them about this before but nothing seems to sink in.
So my questions are, are their others who have experienced this and how did you deal with it?
I often worry that something is going to happen to my parents and I'll regret not talking to them enough. It does get tiring always to be the one to initiate.
As a side note, my dad had a heart attack years ago and I was contacted about this until 5 days after it happened when I phoned up my mom to see how things were. I wish she had phoned me when it happened, in case something happened to my dad.
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