I have been reading through posts for over a year now gleaning tons of wisdom via different perspectives. However, I have yet to find exactly the right topic for my situation. My wife is a rare beauty, super model hot, and I hate to sound crass or as a braggart, but she is very skinny, has a perfect body, and has nearly perfect breasts after two kids ( double D and crazy perfect). She is quite the genetic specimen. Unfortunately, she only desires or will have sex once every 6 weeks or so on average. On the mental side we are both connected and share a common sense of humor. We laugh together all the time. There are other issues of course, but seriously, what relationship is without them?
I have made excuses for years regarding the lack of sex (cliche I know). It was always...Maybe when she turns 30 it will kick up as she gets more comfortable with herself. It didn't happen... Maybe after childbirth things will change...sigh...
I allowed for the low libido during the pregnancy and kid phase of our 4 and 7 yr olds thinking that, "once things settle down we will get to where I want them to be". The unbelievably foolish thing of me is that they never have been and likely never will be.
We have gone to counseling, had countless heart to hearts followed by spurts of increased sexual activity (once every other week for a month or so, yeah that was the spurt). All to no avail. Still things ALWAYS go back to the same level of once every month or two. Ugh! BTW, my preference is about 3 times a week...sigh...
Also, it is not just "sex". There is noooo intimacy, no hand holding, kisses, etc. I now know I really "need" that stuff. It is tough for a guy to admit it, but it is true! Frankly, I would love it if she cheated on me so I would know there is a spark somewhere that I just wasn't tapping into!! Seriously!
This past year, out of exasperation I started EAs. Yeah, I suck, I know... They didn't do it for me frankly. It is not just the sex, it is the connectivity that sex and intimacy brings. I want to grow old and saggy with someone I adore on every level...
The problem is, after stopping trying to have sex with my wife, I no longer find her attractive! Crazy huh? She is still hot after all, I just don't want to have sex anymore. What is wrong with me? The faucet has been turned off!
So the question is do I suck it up for the kids or find a relationship with a more compatible level of intimacy? Feel free to judge away!!! ;)
I have made excuses for years regarding the lack of sex (cliche I know). It was always...Maybe when she turns 30 it will kick up as she gets more comfortable with herself. It didn't happen... Maybe after childbirth things will change...sigh...
I allowed for the low libido during the pregnancy and kid phase of our 4 and 7 yr olds thinking that, "once things settle down we will get to where I want them to be". The unbelievably foolish thing of me is that they never have been and likely never will be.
We have gone to counseling, had countless heart to hearts followed by spurts of increased sexual activity (once every other week for a month or so, yeah that was the spurt). All to no avail. Still things ALWAYS go back to the same level of once every month or two. Ugh! BTW, my preference is about 3 times a week...sigh...
Also, it is not just "sex". There is noooo intimacy, no hand holding, kisses, etc. I now know I really "need" that stuff. It is tough for a guy to admit it, but it is true! Frankly, I would love it if she cheated on me so I would know there is a spark somewhere that I just wasn't tapping into!! Seriously!
This past year, out of exasperation I started EAs. Yeah, I suck, I know... They didn't do it for me frankly. It is not just the sex, it is the connectivity that sex and intimacy brings. I want to grow old and saggy with someone I adore on every level...
The problem is, after stopping trying to have sex with my wife, I no longer find her attractive! Crazy huh? She is still hot after all, I just don't want to have sex anymore. What is wrong with me? The faucet has been turned off!
So the question is do I suck it up for the kids or find a relationship with a more compatible level of intimacy? Feel free to judge away!!! ;)
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