Lots of common themes in these threads lately.
I'll bet many of you have noticed that when you are interacting with a disordered spouse, what you are doing is under a microscope and subject to strict scrutiny. And, when a transgression is detected/unearthed (literally)/discovered, there is no forgiveness.
The first reaction of a codependent partner is to explain. When the explanation is rejected, you protest and appeal. When that does no good, you get angry.
Oftentimes, you will point out family members, in-laws, etc. who have done something similar that was "no problem". The issue is brushed aside, air-brushed away, or people pretend like nothing happened.
Be aware, you will NEVER get satisfaction following this sort of behavior.
Just understand that the disordered are in their own club.
And, forgiveness is just a word away for them.
This is why boundaries are so unbelieveably important. You aren't going to get satisfaction chasing.... not today. Not ever.
I'll bet many of you have noticed that when you are interacting with a disordered spouse, what you are doing is under a microscope and subject to strict scrutiny. And, when a transgression is detected/unearthed (literally)/discovered, there is no forgiveness.
The first reaction of a codependent partner is to explain. When the explanation is rejected, you protest and appeal. When that does no good, you get angry.
Oftentimes, you will point out family members, in-laws, etc. who have done something similar that was "no problem". The issue is brushed aside, air-brushed away, or people pretend like nothing happened.
Be aware, you will NEVER get satisfaction following this sort of behavior.
Just understand that the disordered are in their own club.
And, forgiveness is just a word away for them.
This is why boundaries are so unbelieveably important. You aren't going to get satisfaction chasing.... not today. Not ever.
Put the internet to work for you.
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