Heres my story
I married my highschoold sweetheart... we met when i was 16 and she was 15. We married some 6 years later and have been married for 20 years and have 2 beautiful kids together.
My wife is very attractive and has always felt the need to be the centre of attention. She is (or err was) very loving but extremely moody and addicted to social media.
soon after the birth of our first I had an affair with a co-worker who was a mutual friend of both of us. I left my wife for several months and moved into this womans home. I could not let go of my wife during this time and some 4 months into my affair my second was conceived (yes he is mine) I eventually broke it off with my AP, took a demotion from my job, and moved back home to be with my wife and family.(she graciously took me back)
We had a great couple years however she eventually became involved with a man from here work and they had a lengthy EA and brief PA. I found out rather quickly ( not that she admitted it, but I am naturally suspicous) and she admitted it and her mistake. No real time of reconcilliation (but I was still feeeling guilty for my indiscretion so I didnt force anything)
My wife had communicated our concerns about our sex life a few years ago. Problem was she was not interested in sex earlier in the evening as I would be. Because of my profession I had to get up fairly early in the morning and was asleep most nights by 11 (leaving me with bout 5 hours sleep) she would come to bed (after checking her various social media accounts around midnight and want sex) by the I was no longer interested
She met a male thru a mutual friend and they began an affair. He was married at the time and was not employed but played guitar (damn band bastards) I found out about the affair shortly after it happened and she promised to change. (and I was more than willing to do so, as I had been unfaithful in the past) but she didnt really stop... about 9 months later I had finally had enough and on our 20th anniversary told her that if she finally couldnt stop she needed to move out.
She gave me the "im confused " and the " ilybinilwu" and moved out about a month later. We share custody with our now teenage kids. I have told her about my desire to reconcile and save our lengthy marriage.
Ive been getting trickled truthed bout her ongoing relationship with the man she left me for. He is now employed part time however she supports him financially (I am paying her monthly according to the seperation agreement we drafted) He had a wife and two boys that he left a couple mos ago to be with my wife.
Finally, heres what I struggle with.... I am (or atleast was) fairly close to retirement (within 10 years) She doesnt want to touch my pension but .... courts in Canada will automatically divide it... She keeps tellling me that she loves me...texts me several times a day.... and MAY want to work on our marriage IF she feels wanted. Now we had an adequate sex life i think but she would turn me down before 9 pm and only wanted it after i had gone to bed...still we had sex a couple times a week. As i stated she has always needed to be the centre of attention. always been attractive and knew it, and would do whatever it took to make sure people knew it.
She spends several nights a week with her new man and has been introduced to his kids, she has not introduced ours to him. We spend a great deal of time together and have been intimate several times since she left in August.
I have spent numerous months lurking on here and on other forums and know all about the 180, nc AND lC. i guess i am just looking for advice on what to do. We have a history, I am not innocent, and neither of us can let each other go
any advice
I married my highschoold sweetheart... we met when i was 16 and she was 15. We married some 6 years later and have been married for 20 years and have 2 beautiful kids together.
My wife is very attractive and has always felt the need to be the centre of attention. She is (or err was) very loving but extremely moody and addicted to social media.
soon after the birth of our first I had an affair with a co-worker who was a mutual friend of both of us. I left my wife for several months and moved into this womans home. I could not let go of my wife during this time and some 4 months into my affair my second was conceived (yes he is mine) I eventually broke it off with my AP, took a demotion from my job, and moved back home to be with my wife and family.(she graciously took me back)
We had a great couple years however she eventually became involved with a man from here work and they had a lengthy EA and brief PA. I found out rather quickly ( not that she admitted it, but I am naturally suspicous) and she admitted it and her mistake. No real time of reconcilliation (but I was still feeeling guilty for my indiscretion so I didnt force anything)
My wife had communicated our concerns about our sex life a few years ago. Problem was she was not interested in sex earlier in the evening as I would be. Because of my profession I had to get up fairly early in the morning and was asleep most nights by 11 (leaving me with bout 5 hours sleep) she would come to bed (after checking her various social media accounts around midnight and want sex) by the I was no longer interested
She met a male thru a mutual friend and they began an affair. He was married at the time and was not employed but played guitar (damn band bastards) I found out about the affair shortly after it happened and she promised to change. (and I was more than willing to do so, as I had been unfaithful in the past) but she didnt really stop... about 9 months later I had finally had enough and on our 20th anniversary told her that if she finally couldnt stop she needed to move out.
She gave me the "im confused " and the " ilybinilwu" and moved out about a month later. We share custody with our now teenage kids. I have told her about my desire to reconcile and save our lengthy marriage.
Ive been getting trickled truthed bout her ongoing relationship with the man she left me for. He is now employed part time however she supports him financially (I am paying her monthly according to the seperation agreement we drafted) He had a wife and two boys that he left a couple mos ago to be with my wife.
Finally, heres what I struggle with.... I am (or atleast was) fairly close to retirement (within 10 years) She doesnt want to touch my pension but .... courts in Canada will automatically divide it... She keeps tellling me that she loves me...texts me several times a day.... and MAY want to work on our marriage IF she feels wanted. Now we had an adequate sex life i think but she would turn me down before 9 pm and only wanted it after i had gone to bed...still we had sex a couple times a week. As i stated she has always needed to be the centre of attention. always been attractive and knew it, and would do whatever it took to make sure people knew it.
She spends several nights a week with her new man and has been introduced to his kids, she has not introduced ours to him. We spend a great deal of time together and have been intimate several times since she left in August.
I have spent numerous months lurking on here and on other forums and know all about the 180, nc AND lC. i guess i am just looking for advice on what to do. We have a history, I am not innocent, and neither of us can let each other go
any advice
Put the internet to work for you.
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