I have gotten myself in a real dilemma. I know I am the bad guy in this, but I am seeking advise to make it work.
I have been with my husband for the past 13 years since high school. Recently I bumped into my ex and after just an evening of re-connecting, without hesitation I started an affair that lasted 3 months. At first, it was suppose to be just sex, but in the past we were always more friends that happen to sleep together, so the relationship became more and I fell in love with him. I originally dumped my ex cause I was pressured from friends, and it's one thing I do regret.
My husband has since found out about the affair. He was mad, but also surprisingly supportive and understanding since he knew he has taken our marriage for granted. For awhile my husband was going through personal problems that he would not deal with which made him unhappy and that made me unhappy, but we had a good life and I knew my husband loved me very much, and I was guilty that I did not love him anymore, so I stayed for him. Before the affair we even tried counseling but after a few sessions my husband refused to go. Me and my husband now understand we have problems, and we are working at them including counseling again. My concern is can he really change (can he make himself happy) and can I? Will he be better for a few months and then goes back to the old ways. I do not want to leave my husband for another man. I love my ex, which is also making it hard to move on since I have since broke things off with him, but I just cannot be with him. But the affair did show me there are problems that we need to deal with. In high school I went from relationship to relationship so I've never been alone. I know time will only tell, but I feel like I want to run, so I can finally try it on my own. How do I gain the strength to at least see if I can make this marriage work? Do we have a chance of making this work?
I have been with my husband for the past 13 years since high school. Recently I bumped into my ex and after just an evening of re-connecting, without hesitation I started an affair that lasted 3 months. At first, it was suppose to be just sex, but in the past we were always more friends that happen to sleep together, so the relationship became more and I fell in love with him. I originally dumped my ex cause I was pressured from friends, and it's one thing I do regret.
My husband has since found out about the affair. He was mad, but also surprisingly supportive and understanding since he knew he has taken our marriage for granted. For awhile my husband was going through personal problems that he would not deal with which made him unhappy and that made me unhappy, but we had a good life and I knew my husband loved me very much, and I was guilty that I did not love him anymore, so I stayed for him. Before the affair we even tried counseling but after a few sessions my husband refused to go. Me and my husband now understand we have problems, and we are working at them including counseling again. My concern is can he really change (can he make himself happy) and can I? Will he be better for a few months and then goes back to the old ways. I do not want to leave my husband for another man. I love my ex, which is also making it hard to move on since I have since broke things off with him, but I just cannot be with him. But the affair did show me there are problems that we need to deal with. In high school I went from relationship to relationship so I've never been alone. I know time will only tell, but I feel like I want to run, so I can finally try it on my own. How do I gain the strength to at least see if I can make this marriage work? Do we have a chance of making this work?
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