My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years and together for 8. We have a 2 year old.
We first moved in together when we got engaged in 07 and everything was fine for a while and then we started having problems. He said he needed time to think but since we had relocated and were new to the area he only moved out of our bedroom. We ended up breaking up and I moved back home heartbroken. A few months later he came looking for me. Apologized, moved back home, and we got engaged again. We got married the following year.
Six months into our marriage, I went out with my sisters to a midnight premire and he stayed home with my brother in law. We came home to find them asleep and they had been drinking. I never checked his email or phone but it was open and on the table and there was a message so it was more of an instint to look and I saw a message to his sister saying he missed his ex. Naturally I was devastated. We were newly weds. Next morning I confronted him about it and he said he was drunk and didn't mean anything and he heard a song that reminded him of her and he didn't miss being with her and he loved me. But now I was uneasy. So I checked his email and found not that he had been keeping in touch with his ex but a whole bunch of email replies from a post he placed online called "Married man looking for thick girl with a booty". I have to say...I'm small figured and obviously don't meet that description so I now felt that cheated and that I wasn't even the type of girl he was a ttracted to. When I confronted him he apologized and said he was stupid and it was all talk and he never met anyone but he had made a friend at a gas station he was txting cause she didn't live in the area. we went to counseling but I was angry and hurt - rather than keep trying he said that we needed time and he moved out of our apartment. I finally forgave him as I decided to believe it was all talk. We had a son a year later and we were doing fine.
Now, from a few months ago he seems different. We argue a lot and almost 3 weeks ago he again said he needed time and moved out. However he wanted to go on dates. He said this was because we had fallen in a routine and our relationship and intimacy had grown cold (which I can see). but I just didn't understand why we couldn't work on it together. Anyway so paying the credit cards I noticed a charge I didn't recognize so I text him to ask him if he knew about it and he said he ordered male enhancement pills. In the past, we've had intimacy issues and discussed getting pills so he said that he felt our time apart was helping and he wanted to have them ready assuming we worked out our differences. But he didn't use our regular amazon account. He created a new email account under a different name, and new amazon account. When I first asked what account he used to order the pills he lied and said his friends and when I asked why he said because he was embarrased to tell me . It doesn't make sense since we had discussed it several times before. He swears this time apart was really for both of us to think about our problems and whether we were together for us or our son and that the pills were to enhance our sex life. But the new email and the lying bring back memories and doubt. He wants to come home but I don't know if I can believe not only that he's not back doing online casual dating but that he's not gonna keep leaving every few years. I'm confused and sad and need advice.
We first moved in together when we got engaged in 07 and everything was fine for a while and then we started having problems. He said he needed time to think but since we had relocated and were new to the area he only moved out of our bedroom. We ended up breaking up and I moved back home heartbroken. A few months later he came looking for me. Apologized, moved back home, and we got engaged again. We got married the following year.
Six months into our marriage, I went out with my sisters to a midnight premire and he stayed home with my brother in law. We came home to find them asleep and they had been drinking. I never checked his email or phone but it was open and on the table and there was a message so it was more of an instint to look and I saw a message to his sister saying he missed his ex. Naturally I was devastated. We were newly weds. Next morning I confronted him about it and he said he was drunk and didn't mean anything and he heard a song that reminded him of her and he didn't miss being with her and he loved me. But now I was uneasy. So I checked his email and found not that he had been keeping in touch with his ex but a whole bunch of email replies from a post he placed online called "Married man looking for thick girl with a booty". I have to say...I'm small figured and obviously don't meet that description so I now felt that cheated and that I wasn't even the type of girl he was a ttracted to. When I confronted him he apologized and said he was stupid and it was all talk and he never met anyone but he had made a friend at a gas station he was txting cause she didn't live in the area. we went to counseling but I was angry and hurt - rather than keep trying he said that we needed time and he moved out of our apartment. I finally forgave him as I decided to believe it was all talk. We had a son a year later and we were doing fine.
Now, from a few months ago he seems different. We argue a lot and almost 3 weeks ago he again said he needed time and moved out. However he wanted to go on dates. He said this was because we had fallen in a routine and our relationship and intimacy had grown cold (which I can see). but I just didn't understand why we couldn't work on it together. Anyway so paying the credit cards I noticed a charge I didn't recognize so I text him to ask him if he knew about it and he said he ordered male enhancement pills. In the past, we've had intimacy issues and discussed getting pills so he said that he felt our time apart was helping and he wanted to have them ready assuming we worked out our differences. But he didn't use our regular amazon account. He created a new email account under a different name, and new amazon account. When I first asked what account he used to order the pills he lied and said his friends and when I asked why he said because he was embarrased to tell me . It doesn't make sense since we had discussed it several times before. He swears this time apart was really for both of us to think about our problems and whether we were together for us or our son and that the pills were to enhance our sex life. But the new email and the lying bring back memories and doubt. He wants to come home but I don't know if I can believe not only that he's not back doing online casual dating but that he's not gonna keep leaving every few years. I'm confused and sad and need advice.
Put the internet to work for you.
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