I am pretty much ready to leave my H. I call him my H on TAM but we aren't legally married. We have rings, a ceremony, etc but just never signed the papers. Hard to explain and most people don't get it, so I won't blame anyone for scratching their heads here.
Anyway, anyone who has read over my posts know that my H is emotionally abusive. I am constantly called a "sl*t" "w*ore" "b*tch", idiot, etc. And of course, it's always my fault.
He is super controlling. He goes ape sh*t when I don't do something he wants me to do. The other day I didn't tell him something about one of my ex boyfriends and he flipped out on me, called me a bunch of names, and harassed me all day about it. He wouldn't drop it. We own a business together and he refused to get any work done until I told him what he wanted to know, so a bunch of our customers' orders just didn't go out.
He gets angry if I wear anything feminine and refuses to go out anywhere social because he doesn't want other men looking at me. He gets upset when I go out. I avoided picking up my birth control pills because I didn't a fight about me going to the store. He even gets upset when I take my parents' dog for a walk without him.
You can read over my past posts if you want for more details.
I'm ready to leave him, but I still love him despite everything he's done. He's not a 100% evil person, unfortunately I go on TAM to vent so I don't talk about his good traits a lot.
He does a lot of wonderful things. For example, he never stares at other women and is always faithful. He tells me I'm beautiful everyday (when we aren't fighting of course). He is the type of man to show up with flowers or a card just because.
My mother has stage 4 terminal cancer and he has been there for me doing anything I need or just listening.
Despite his good qualities, I'm ready to leave. I just can't take our fighting anymore. I'm only in my 20s and don't want to waste my youth fighting and being depressed. I want kids and don't think I could raise a family with him.
Here's the problem, I feel bad about leaving him. We own a business together (it was all his idea and I am miserable working there) and we can't even keep up with customer orders working together. How will he do it alone? There's no money to hire anyone. I haven't had any salary the whole time working for/with him. He put everything he has into the business (I insisted on separate finances) and took out a loan. The business is barely afloat right now. It will probably tank without me and he will in serious financial trouble.
Also, he just signed a 1-year lease last week on an apartment he doesn't like. He did that for me. He doesn't like the actual apartment or the area, but he agreed to it because I do like it and it's close to my mom. I plan on moving in with her after the break up but then my husband will be stuck with the lease. My name isn't on it.
I don't want to stick him with an apartment he hates and serious financial problems and stress.
But I don't want to be in the relationship anymore. I don't even want to fix it. He won't see a counselor, and I don't even think I would want to anymore anyway.
So what do I do? Stick it out until he's secure? Run like the wind right now and leave him with all those problems??
The end of our relationship wouldn't be a shocker to him. I have told him I'm unhappy and don't see our relationship healing. But I still don't know what to do.
Anyway, anyone who has read over my posts know that my H is emotionally abusive. I am constantly called a "sl*t" "w*ore" "b*tch", idiot, etc. And of course, it's always my fault.
He is super controlling. He goes ape sh*t when I don't do something he wants me to do. The other day I didn't tell him something about one of my ex boyfriends and he flipped out on me, called me a bunch of names, and harassed me all day about it. He wouldn't drop it. We own a business together and he refused to get any work done until I told him what he wanted to know, so a bunch of our customers' orders just didn't go out.
He gets angry if I wear anything feminine and refuses to go out anywhere social because he doesn't want other men looking at me. He gets upset when I go out. I avoided picking up my birth control pills because I didn't a fight about me going to the store. He even gets upset when I take my parents' dog for a walk without him.
You can read over my past posts if you want for more details.
I'm ready to leave him, but I still love him despite everything he's done. He's not a 100% evil person, unfortunately I go on TAM to vent so I don't talk about his good traits a lot.
He does a lot of wonderful things. For example, he never stares at other women and is always faithful. He tells me I'm beautiful everyday (when we aren't fighting of course). He is the type of man to show up with flowers or a card just because.
My mother has stage 4 terminal cancer and he has been there for me doing anything I need or just listening.
Despite his good qualities, I'm ready to leave. I just can't take our fighting anymore. I'm only in my 20s and don't want to waste my youth fighting and being depressed. I want kids and don't think I could raise a family with him.
Here's the problem, I feel bad about leaving him. We own a business together (it was all his idea and I am miserable working there) and we can't even keep up with customer orders working together. How will he do it alone? There's no money to hire anyone. I haven't had any salary the whole time working for/with him. He put everything he has into the business (I insisted on separate finances) and took out a loan. The business is barely afloat right now. It will probably tank without me and he will in serious financial trouble.
Also, he just signed a 1-year lease last week on an apartment he doesn't like. He did that for me. He doesn't like the actual apartment or the area, but he agreed to it because I do like it and it's close to my mom. I plan on moving in with her after the break up but then my husband will be stuck with the lease. My name isn't on it.
I don't want to stick him with an apartment he hates and serious financial problems and stress.
But I don't want to be in the relationship anymore. I don't even want to fix it. He won't see a counselor, and I don't even think I would want to anymore anyway.
So what do I do? Stick it out until he's secure? Run like the wind right now and leave him with all those problems??
The end of our relationship wouldn't be a shocker to him. I have told him I'm unhappy and don't see our relationship healing. But I still don't know what to do.
Put the internet to work for you.
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