Wife Says "Love for me has changed"

First off I have read quite a few threads on this forum and have seen some good advice for me. I kind of feel like writing this to see if there is anything else I can try or learn...and also maybe to vent a little. I am 35, been married for 15 years. My wife and I are high school sweethearts and have two boys, 14 and 10. My wife and I both have good jobs and make pretty good money. Financially not too many problems. I am fit, work out a good amount and my wife is very beautiful. I don't cheat, and I don't think she has either. We have sex regularly and she has orgasms etc (don't know if that intel is important but I might as well lay it out). Really on paper this seems like an ideal marriage. A couple of months ago, the wife and I were fighting and she finally told me that her love for me had "changed". She still loved me but it had changed (lots of threads on this I know). She said that she has been unhappy for a long time (5-years or so). She told me that she had seen a lawyer and a real estate agent and wanted out. I was absolutely devastated, and to this very day am pretty insecure about everything. I cant sleep and cant stop thinking about this. I couldn't believe that she had gone behind my back on this. Anyways, I am still hurting... It got so bad she said she wanted out one day and I told her to leave. She said she would not leave, and I told her thats how this works, you want out you leave. At this point I had kind of had it, told her to give back the ring, canceled her cards, was getting ready to go through all the motions and then she decides to reconcile, all of this within an hours period of time. She broke down, said it was all her. I have told her that I am "in love with her". That my love does not change and since then she has told me that she loves me again, but I sometimes wonder, almost seems like she is just going though the motions. I have tried VERY hard to be more kind to her and pay attention to her needs. I believe I have been "following" her around a bunch lately, which, from what I have read may not be a good idea. Before this happened, I did not "follow her". She is seeing a counselor but keeps that secrete from me for whatever reason. When she sees the counselor (one on one), it seems that the fights pop up. Not sure about this guy who I have met and seemed fine at the time. We were supposed to see him together after the one on one, but now she doesn't want to, is choosing to go one on one. I still want to do counseling but so far that has not happened (I know I should make it happen). So present day, I am really insecure about this relationship. I know I should "man up" but I cant. I am a pretty confident A type guy but this has totally rattled me. In generally I am not an unhappy person and pretty upbeat. Im up at 6AM writing this because I cant sleep and keep thinking about all of this. We still have fights, probably once a week and then we reconcile. My interactions with her seem distant, we still have sex, but I feel like she is just going through the motions. I know that I have not been the best husband at times and am working on myself, but I have been far from the worst. We made a list of things to work on, things to do, things not to do...which I thought was pretty good. While I have been practicing many of these things she does not...and admits she hasn't been living up to her end. So things are OK...certainly not great, but better than two months ago...I believe we can work though this, but it is getting tough. I think that I am on the verge of giving up at times...or being fed up, then she comes around. I would certainly appreciate any feedback, thank you for letting me vent. polyol

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