| My husband and I have been together for 9 years, married for 3 of them. Over the past year things have gone from bad to worse. Our relationship was great mentally and physically. Then a few months before our wedding I hurt my back. Because of my back hurting he didn't want to have sex because it made my back feel worse, which was understandable. But ever since then our sex life has slowly died out. Now it seems like having sex is a chore and a fight. Aside from the dead sex life, it seems like he just wants nothing to do with me. If I ask for help with something, the majority of the time, he will yell at me or will put it off until I just give up and do it. I am constantly being rejected by him, be it emotionally or physically. He just doesn't seem to care. But I feel as though I am always there for him. I let him talk my ear off about work, his friends, etc...But if I start talking he only half listens, if that. Plus if he ask me what is wrong if I am "off" that day and I tell him, he turns everything back around on me…"Well if you wouldn't do…." "If you would just get over the anxiety and ****" and so on. It makes me feel like I am worthless. A few months ago I snapped. I told him that he needed to make a decision, either we work **** out or that was it. He started crying and telling me he was sorry. And that as far as the sex goes, that he doesn't have a high sex drive and never has (funny for the first 3 years we were together it we had sex 3 to 4 time a week), and that he is frustrated because I don't have light switch Os. We talked and decided that we would work it out. So I stuck around. Things seemed better for a few days then went back to what they were. About a month ago I snapped again. He came in from work and sat down for a few minutes. I asked him to get a bowl from the top cabinet (that I cannot reach) and he bit my head off. He then left for a little while. While he was gone I packed a bag and called my aunt to ask if I could stay with her. I also wrote him a note telling him how I felt about everything that had been happening. I wrote it because he doesn't ever seem to listen. In the note I told him about how I constantly feel like he doesn't want me in any way. How when he ask what is wrong, he turns everything around to where it is my fault and that maybe it was all my fault but it is still wrong to do it how he does. He made it home before I could leave. (I know, chicken on my part). After reading the note he started telling me how sorry he was and how he has been depressed, etc, and that he would work on it. I sat there and listened to him and even held him as he cried. I even suggested that we go to counseling together or if he would be more comfortable I can make him appointments for himself, etc. His response was that he wouldn't do that because he has a hard enough time even talking to me about how he feels. Things were ok for about a week. Now they are back to where they were before. I don't want to loose him but at the same time I am tired of hurting because of him. I have given him 9 years of my life that I will never get back. We have been best friends, lovers and everything in between. And now if feels like it has all fallen apart. I really do want things to get sorted out. But I feel like every effort made is all for nothing. I am not sure if I should just go ahead and file for a divorce, move out for a while or what. Any outside insight would be great. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
No comments:
Post a Comment