Separation, possible divorce with 2 young kids

I'm not sure whether I will get answers here but I feel like I am going nowhere so hope someone can help me. I have been with my husband since I was a teenager and we have been married for 6 years. We have a 2 kids under 4. Since we were young we had a turbulent relationship, lots of fighting and making up but happy times as well. I thought this was all hormonal and due to the excessive partying we did. The partying was dying off for me and we ended up getting married, I thought this was a good chance for us both to grow up and our relationship would grow stronger and less volatile. We both had similar dreams of owning our own home and raising children and always had steady jobs. It didn't get better after we got married. He has a short temper and scares me at times. He is incredbily lazy and selfish. I so desperately wanted children though and I thought that would make him grow up so we had our first child. Again, I was wrong and I feel so terrible for bringing children into our relationship that now may end. He would spend the whole weekend sleeping on the couch with me and the kids coming in and out of the house around him. I work almost full time hours, look after the kids and the house and all our finances. He did nothing except work. His job is low paying and pretty standard. I was always the breadwinner but I really would prefer to spend more time with my little ones. Unfortunately because of our mortgage I cannot decrease my hours. I threatened to leave a few times and had some overnight/weekend stays at my parents to try to "shake him up" into changing his ways. I suggested he see a counsellor and he did but it did nothing except cost us a fortune. He hasn't supported me or been there for me when I have really needed him. We have now separated in May and I have given it a couple of months to make a decision. He has pushed me away for so long that I no longer feel anything for him, except I feel sorry for him. I wish I could just flick a switch and love him so my kids had a stable family unit but I just can't. I want to stay with him for the kids but I don't want my kids to know that I am unhappy. And I feel like the rest of my life is a long time to be miserable. If I stay will i be able to love him again in the future if he changes who is completely as he says he has? Or has it gone on too long for there to be any love left? And is it possible for him to change that much? My main concern is my kids. I really don't want them to be affected by this and I feel like whatever decision I make, they could be unhappy...that kills me

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