night shift woes....

So, I've been working night shift for about 6 years now. I leave for work at 5pm, and I don't get home until about 715am. I've been married now for about a year and a half, we've been together for more than 6 years now. We have 4 kids total, my wife has 2 older from a previous marriage....11 and 13. And we have 2 young kids between us, 2 and 4. The issues have been stacking up lately, I can't seem to get anything right. She said she wants more help, I do whatever I can on my days off to help, and in the times before I go to work and after I get home I am doing whatever I can to help. She said she wants me to be more involved, except anytime I assert myself as a parent with the older 2 I catch all kinds of flak. I feel like I come home....sleep...and then leave for work. The older 2 don't respect me because my wife freely yells and screams at me in front of them. Exposing all the shortcomings that she sees. What little time I do take for myself, which is at the most 45 min to an hour once a week is thrown back in my face. I'm always asking her to take time for herself, to get out and do something. But she refuses.... When it comes to arguing.....she doesn't hold back, she bullies the conversation by her screaming. I HATE to be yelled at, and I HATE raising my voice. ESPECIALLY when the kids are around. I've told her time to don't argue in front of the kids, don't scream while they are here, and DON'T cuss in front of them. But she doesn't care....she lets loose regardless if there are kids present. It really upsets me and she knows how I feel about it. What makes it worse is when we argue during the days I work, she makes me watch the kids while she shuts herself in the bathroom or bedroom. So, I end up staying up watching kids instead of getting sleep for the upcoming night. I know this has turned more into a rant and a venting session. But I just don't know what to do.....I'm tired of being yelled at and made to feel bad about working nights. I just want to pack my bags and leave....

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