help

i am in tears right now. i cant figure out what i need to do about my marriage. i love my wife, and she loves me i think, but we have no relationship at all. i dont really know how to do this, so i guess ill just list everything out. please help. we have 2 kids who are great daughter 4 years old and son 10 mos. we don't ever have any physical contact in the last 11-12 months. i know its partly my fault. my wife has BPD and PTSD from old relationships. I have PTSD and depression from military. I don't have time to see dr about this so VA gives me pills, but i dont take them. wife is home with kids while i work 12hrs 5days so she doesnt have time to see dr. we cant really afford copay anyways, but that not the point. she is convinced that both her and my daughter are allergic to just about everything. i know this is possible, but all she does is look up reasons for this on internet. we have seen drs for this and they all say no, but wife still believes. daughter now old enough that she believes too. we have multiple arguments and conversations about this, but it just goes nowhere because she wont consider that she could be wrong. daughter is healthy, but eats only a few veges, no meat, no protein, i'm afraid for her. wife wont listen, we see therapist every other week, but therapisst jsut agrees with her that its possible and leaves it alone. our marriage is basically meaningless now. she wants absolutely no physical contact, and says its because i am not emotional enough for her and she doesnt feel safe since haviving our son because of her past. wife wont let me take kids to my family because she thinks they will be contaminated by allergies. she doesn't like my mother, which is another story. i don't know how to make things work. after all this, i find out my grandma is dying, no body movment no brain function just heartbeat and lung machine so my cousin from detroit is here to visit from 5 hours away and i cant see her because she staying at my parents house. i feel so alone and helpless. i think everyday about maybe i should quit my job and get something with better hours and maybe with less money we can still be happier. i want to believe about allergies, but im starting to resent her about it. i want to find help that i really think will work, but weve been to 3 different marrigae therapists and nothing seems to work. i dont want to fell like a roommate anymore. i want my family back. i want my wife back. am i asking too much? please help

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