| Hi, Apologies if there are other threads on here regarding this, but I have been through a lot and can't find any that match my situation. I have been with my wife for about 9 years and married for nearly 4 years. About 9 month ago I was having doubts about our marriage and starting to think about life without her. I was severely depressed at the time and going to counselling as I have OCD. I decided that we should go on a break and we agreed we can see other people during this break. During this break, I did meet someone else, but soon afterwards (4 months after break-up) I realized what a huge mistake I had made and that I wanted to get back together with my wife. My wife and I talked and she too had been in a relationship while we were on a break, but we decided to work on our marriage. She still said she loved me but that she had changed; became more independent and that she is not 100% certain that we will always be together. We decided to work on it though. The Saturday just gone (4 months after getting back together and living back together) she cheated on me after saying she was staying at a friends after a girlie night out. She told me straight away that she cheated (following morning) and how sorry she is and that she feels a complete bi*ch. I didn't get angry at all or seek for revenge, I was just totally devastated as if my whole world had collapsed. I cried all the time and find things hard to do without thinking about us. I said I forgave her and that we can get through it. We talked about things as she said that she loves me so much and that she can't imagine her life without me. However, she said she can't say 100% that she will want to be with me in the future. As soon as i said I am going to leave she burst's into tears and asks me to stay. She says there are days when she is 100% sure that she wants to be with me and other days where she has doubts. She says she needs time to get back to where we were a year ago when she knew 100% that she wanted to be with me and even then she is worried that she will not get there. I worry so much every day, and dread going home as I think she will say she wants to leave me, or 6 months down the line. I need some advice as to what to do. Part of me thinks I should just leave and hopefully she will realize what a huge mistake she has made and wants me back for good. Then I worry if I do this and she doesn't change her feelings that I wasted the chance to carry on living with her and giving the marriage time. She has said that she feels pressure from me asking about if she wants to be with me or not, I just feel so uncertain about us and want to know now. Please help Many thanks Mark | |||
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