When love isn't enough...

My husband and I have been married almost 4 years, together 6. We were great friends that blossomed into more so we got married. It's not been an easy marriage though. We've had problems since before the wedding and it seems like we go through hard times quite often. I think we've talked about ending things at least once or twice a year since the beginning. I love him a great deal but I just am not sure that it's the kind of love that can keep us together. Our sex life is non-existent and has been for a long, long time now. We basically live like roommates. I don't feel like we have anything in common anymore and I know that he feels the same way. The most current conversation about ending things happened just a couple of weeks ago. He basically told me that while he loves me he doesn't think that he is in love with me anymore, and I agree. I have to say, I was the one that brought up the topic; I have been feeling very unsettled and unhappy latel y. Every other time this has happened we have given in and tried to "make it work". But I just don't know that I want to try anymore. I feel like we've been trying for so long and it never really gets better. We just ignore the problems until they get too big and we end up right back where we started. The problem I am having now is that I am scared. I usually get through my days ok but then I come home at night and everything hits me and I get overwhelmed with sadness. We are sleeping in separate rooms and going to bed by myself is the hardest part. Even though there was no intimacy it was nice to know that he was there. And now it just feels so lonely without him. I have started looking for apartments but the thought of actually leaving and starting over is terrifying. I know that I am going to miss him so much. He is one of my best friends and has been a part of my life for so long, I can't imagine not being with him. But I also can't imagine staying in a marriage that is so unfulfilling any longer. I don't know what to do. I am afraid of being on my own again, But I don't think that that is reason enough to stay. I know that I do love him but I don't think that I love him the way I should. My heart is so torn right now. Any advice or comments would be appreciated.

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