Lights off sex/fantasizing

I had an interesting experience the other night and would like to learn what Tam folks think about it. Ultra condensed background: I realized a while ago that my wife has never been into me sexually. After suffering a huge ego hit, I informed my wife that I needed to "turn down the temperature" and seriously limit our love making. Her response has been to try to "turn up the temperature" by initiating sex several times a week. Although this probably sounds great, it isn't. She still doesn't desire me sexually, this is a form of duty sex and is frankly depressing to me. Still, when she initiates I know that my refusal would be interpreted as I don't love her anymore. Which is not true. But it is true that I have lost almost all sexual desire for her. So our encounters consist of both of us faking it. Our love life isn't dead, but is probably undead. Anyway, she initiated the other night when we retired for the evening. I tried my best to supress my feelings of dread and settled in to take another one for the team. At some level, I am doing now what she has always done. The difference is, I am a man and biologically it is harder for me to fake it, if you know what I mean. For some reason, we did not turn the lights on. I have always been visually aroused, and having sex in the dark diminishes my excitement somewhat. As it turned out, when it came time for me to get it up and get it in, I suddenly and unexpectedly imagined I was with someone else. Schwing, as they say. Mission accomplished, she is assured that I still love her. This has never ever happened to me before. I have always been 100% in the moment while making love. I don't know how I feel about what happened. Not guilt, but somehow disconcerting nevertheless. Is this a new trick I should deploy as needed to get the job done? Or is this a sign of accelerating disfunction in my love life and therefore something to be avoided? Should I inform my wife about this? Encourage her to do the same? I cannot imagine her taking this well, but I also realize that her failure to communicate honestly about her sexuality has damaged our sex life and it might be hypocritical of me to act the same way. Any thoughts appreciated.

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