| Here is my delima in a nut shell. About two months ago after an arguement with my wife over the kids that shouldn't have been an arguement in my opinion I packed some clothes and left to cool off. When i returned the next day she gave me the ilybinilwy speech and told me she wanted space. i couldn't believe it. I thought our marriage was solid. We was split up for only a week,I decided i would be the one to leave because i felt she was not thinking clearly.During this week I discovered she had been talking on the phone to a coworker daily after work for 6 months 30-45 minutes per call. I confronted her and she said he was just a friend, they discussed work,and vented about work related problems.This bothered me but I did nothing at this time to stop the calls. We ended up back together a week later and I still watched the phone records and the calls did slack off in frequency and in length of time but they was still occuring. Fast forward to may 1.We get in another discussion that leads into an argument and I confront again about the phone calls still occuring . I threaten to go find him and kick his a$$ if it doesn't stop. she tells me to go ahead.I cooled off but she left and told me this time she wanted us to separate.She went to a hotel that night not far from home and I left her alone, the next day she came back and took up residence in our camper. Since then we have talked some days and some days go by without speaking or communicating at all.She has agreeded to stop all outside of work communication with the om and the phone records do back that up although she could be imessaging and I would never know. Her plan is to, as soon as she has the funds ,she will move the camper on some rental property and live in it for a while ,while she "figures things out" Her reasons for the separation include these- she says she has never been independent and feels like she has depended on me her whole life for everything,she says I'm boring,she wants more of a social life and feels I have held her back,she is bringing up things I did up to 10 years ago giving examples of when I wasn't considerate of her feelings. Up until recently we seemed like the perfect couple now shes very unhappy with everything.People i tell about this cannot believe it, we was the type of couple that was very affectionate to each other in public and rarely ever argued. We agreeded that we would not date other people during this separation and that we would still have sex with each other instead of looking other places. I know to some that seems strange but the sex is okay with me as long as it isn't dominated by one or the other. To make it fair we agreed to take turns,I pick when then it's her turn to pick when...sound strange , yeah i know but it's working for us. Here is the thing that is most strange to me and bothers me most. At random times she will reach out to me for a hug or a kiss, very passionatly, as if we are okay for the moment. She has also invited me to go to sleep with her on 2 occassions. I did it with very mixed emotions. One hand, I enjoyed it also, but on the other hand I feel like it's some game. We have talked about it,and she says it is as real as it gets for the moment she really feels love and wants to be close to me but she also fears doing this may hurt both of us,she says she's especially worried that if we don't make it through this that I will think she has been leading me on. She also seems to pull back after one of these moments the next day and she says that she feels guilty because she knows she s not 100% in our relationship and thinks it could lead to more hurt. I personally don't know what to think,I am so confused. | |||
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