Is she or isn't she?

So... this is my first time posting to something like this but I have no where to turn and no one to talk to that wouldn't put "our news" out for all to know. My wife of almost 10 years started a full time job about 10 months ago as an events coordinator. It is a demanding job with lots of long hours. The Job is in a college which is trying desperately to bring new venues onto their campus and get exposure and income for the school. The atmosphere at her work is very friendly and inviting. I have been there several times and meet most of her colleagues. My issue is this up untill about 3 months ago she never really used her cell phone. As such she was on a pre-paid plan which 1,000 minutes used to last like 4-6 months. Around end of March begining of April she recharged her phone which I thought nothing of, then within the space of a week she needed to recharge again. When I approached her about it she said she had begun using her phone for work more and more and that this is the busy season for colleges. I said we needed to then get her on a regular plan as soon as possible, which we did. Around this same time I noticed marked changes in her behaviors somone who was never on the phone was now on it all the time texting constantly. when I asked her about it she said she was having a hard time with her upcomming b-day ane was talking to a close mutual firend who was going through the same thing. I have never had a reason to not trust my wife in the almost 10 years we have been together but this coupled with other behaviours started to trouble me and give me that nagging feeling in my stomach. I forgot to mention she had asked me to put a code on her phone because of prying eyes at work, only for me to find she had later changed her code to something else and didn't tell me she said given the nature of her conversations with her firend she did not want our 8 year old daughter to see the texts. Long story short when she got the new phone with the new code I called her old # and checked her voice mails. I think checked on the new phone as well. There was a guy calling both numbers calling her honey but really nothing else of interest. When I approached her about it (all be it not in the right way) she was furious that I checked on her, and swore that the messages were the result of someone calling the wrong number. I have serious doubts that someone call two wong number (same incomming #) and made that mistake. Come to fine out the guy is an older student at the school and also works part time at security. Well a week or two went by and I still couldn't get over that gut feeling so I observed her and learned the code to her phone. I found his number saved in the phone as one of her girlfriends. So I set up her online account so I oculd see just how much calling and texting was going on between them. turns out quite a lot. 148 to and from texts in the space of 3-4 days and a handful maybe 4-5 quick calls. I printed everything and confronted her and asked for an explanation. She was furious and said she hid his number because she didn't want me to see his name after the voicemails and that she needs to talk to him from time to time because of her job. She also said it wasn't her and there must be some kind of mistake with respect to the phone records. I just do not think the phone carrier got this wrong. The last week or two has been very rocky between us and we did start to talk but it escalated into and arguement where she got so mad I was accusing her that she said we should just go our seperate ways. I told her this is not what I wanted, but need to understand all the coincidences that are happening where this guy is concerned. I'm really confused right now and feel that there is something wrong and that we are just going through the motions rather than addressing it head on. I want to know if any of you have ever found yourself in a similar situation and how you've handled it. Of if anyone has advise given the circumstances. If she really has cheated on me I could never forgive it. Either way right now I'm affraid this has ruined what was left of our marriage, but I don't want to run out the door as there is an eight year old little girl involved that loves her parents deeply. Any thought, suggestions or comments are appreciated.

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