| We met in first year of university, she was 5 years older and from Italy on erasmus exchange. I fell deeply in love and so did she. We told ourselves we wouldn't do a long distance relationship when she went back to Italy but neither of us could resist and we had a very nice time. She came to me and I came to her. Just before our first year anniversary I had a horrible pang in my stomach that I no longer loved her. I tried to shake it, I tried to avoid it, ignore it, I scrutinized over it. I did everything I could to try love her again. I told myself it was because we were apart, but I felt the same when we were together. She's such a beautiful, kind, caring, compassionate person, and we had such a nice time together which is what makes this so hard. She was the purest thing in my life, but now anytime I think of her I feel sad. I don't know what it is. I dont want to do this, but deep down I know I have to. Im flying to Italy on thursday and Im gonna tell her. Then I'll enter the worst period of my life so far, and every wonderful magic feeling I've had over the past year will be replaced with the opposite for a long time. I'm already arranging sessions with a counsellor, and I'm genuinely worried I might never fully recover. How do I deal with this, how on earth can I do this? We dont even fight, I dont think we've ever had a fight. On the surface it seems so wonderful and yet for the past two months I've just felt like crap. Last time I saw her she had some idea I felt like crap but I blamed it on exam stress. It wasn't exam stress at all. The fact that I have to go to Italy to do it makes it even worse, Im flying there and she has no idea that Im booking a flight to go back the very next day. Or should I stay for a few days to work her through it? Or what can I do to make it easier for her? I want to make it as easy for her as it can possibly be, even at the expense of my own sanity. Someone help me, I feel like Im sinking here | |||
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