| I'm an alone wolf in this world and I think it's due to my upbringing- my Mum was mental ill from the age of 8 so I kinda dragged myself up. My parents were on a 'break' and my mum fell pregnant with me. They got back together when I was 5, re-married when I was 10 and then separated when I was 12. I ended up getting kicked out at 13 so I lived with my dad and then he died when I was 14- now back with my mum and i'm 19. My older brother and sister are like part-time parents so they chip in about 'advice' and they've kinda brought me up but as I said they're part-time ;) It's made me very independent and strong willed. I went through a phase of 'there's no such thing as love just weak people'. I love travelling even if it's popping down to London for the day on my larry. I've gone to America a few times to visit my Sister on my own so i'm used to meeting new people. I'm going travelling this summer to S/E Asia for 6 weeks with a friend. I'm very good at making friends as i'm really outgoing and confident but I don't like been around the same person/group for too long (oh yes, i'm going to have fun with the same person for 6 weeks!  . I think i've got so used to my own company (my mum regularly goes away for a couple of months in a year) that I find maintaining friendships quite hard- i'm also very selfish as I put myself first. I have dreams to travel the world, have a career and the usual stuff (I really want children in the future too). But the idea of loving someone and living with them seems so strange. I struggle to keep romantic relationships for a few months and that's telling the guy not to text me as it annoys me etc. However, there's one person who i'm quite close to (She's my Geography teacher) as we're really similar- broken homes, eco warriors and wanting to travel the world. She told me yesterday that she's broke up with her husband who she's been with for the last 10 years since uni. I've been telling/planning my trip to Thailand with her and she said that she's always wanted to do it so she's left him so she can go travelling etc. Everyone I know is either in a relationship they hate (my sister and Sister-in-law) or separated like my parents and she was the only person I knew to be in a happy relationship. I'm just scared i'm going to end up lonely, I just don't want to be 40 without kids but I can't imagine spending my life with one person. What is love? I don't love anyone as I think i'm too boxed up to open up my heard. Does anyone else feel like this? | |||
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