advice?

I am sorry this post is so lengthy.... I need some advice regarding my husband and I's financial relationship. We have known each other for more than 15 years, date for more than 5, and been married for more than 3. We had a toddler and one on the way. We came into the relationship very independent minded- so having separate finances was not a big deal. My husband makes 3-4x more than me, even though I make a decent salary and have a good job. I currently work part time and care for our child when not working. My husband and I have separate mortgages, car loans, and bank accounts. He doesn't want to have me on his main account because he says he wants his financial independence. His mom has been on his account since he was a teenager and she is still on it. I have never told my husband how to spend his money. I Have asked him about having a joint account- to feel more like a married couple. he was okay with having a joint account but not linking it to his main account and he didn't want to have our bills put into the joint account. I wanted to have our bills in a joint account so it feels more like working together and a marriage. he said he didn't want to because it would separate his funds and he doesn't want the headache. my husband owns multiple properties for rental purposes, so he does have bills he pays for that monthly. My husband pays the majority of our joint bills and I pay my personal bills (including mortgage, car, gas, groceries, student loans, etc). Him and I have very little conversations about money goals or planning. he doesn't feel the need to. He thinks the rentals are our retirement money. We have 2 homes in our name. My husband is much better with making financial decision than me- as far as how to make money and invest. I have excellent credit score and am financially responsible. I feel way to separated from him- in money and in planning together and in working together. My husband will give me money if I ask and has given me a credit card but I don't feel comfortable asking for money and I don't spend his credit card very often. That's the annoying part of our relationship, I feel awkward that I need to ask and I feel like there is an inherent lack of trust. His parents divorced and his mom got the majority of the money after the divorce and my husband has said that he didn't want to have joint bank accounts because he thinks I might clean out the bank account If I got angry and was planning on leaving. I have told him, I have never been like that and I will never be like that. BUt I think the lack of trust is unfair. I have tried talking to my husband and explaining how I don't like the situation but I get the impression he doesn't see the importance or understand. he had told me he was will to put me on his account and then he later admitted that he was just "giving up" and he really doesn't want to do that. I said there needed to be some type of compromise then-so that we are financially working together. he has rejected going to therapy saying he can deal with the issue on his own. I don't know what to do.

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