| Ok, i'm going to layout a small summary of my relationship and then get to my problem. so i have been dating this girl for almost 9 months. We met in college and the relationship was great. same schedule, saw eye to eye on a lot of things. winter break came and we had some slight issues due to distance, 8 hrs apart. shes a city girl, im a suburban guy. Im a bit of a clinger (and i openly admit it) and the distance became too much. we online chatted and tried to do things online and it sort of worked. things started to turn bad after a while. she told me back in college that shes a night time person, a slight party-er, drinker and partying runs in her family, relatives and all. we ran on the same schedule in school and we both take school seriously so i didnt see those sides of her or even think of it. Im not a night time person and i don't drink due to a risk of liver cancer (hereditary). she knows my opinion and stance. she started staying up la te, partying hard, drinking a lot(and i mean A LOT), and going to bed at 5 6 7 in the morning, the times i get up. even if she wasnt "out" she would stay up really late. so, we wouldnt text or online chat for pretty much the whole day until she got up at 3 in the afternoon, the exact same time i have work. so, we had issues but we got through it. it was rough, really rough. spring semester was fine. Now its summer vacation and i feel history is repeating itself. she stayed up very late over a week now and i just have this gut wrenching feeling. we are both hard headed so we refuse to change our lifestyles to match up with each other during these breaks. she is independent and she doesnt care what i do for the most part. additionally, partying is a staple in her family especially during major events. i dont like to party, drink, and stay up late nor endorse that lifestyle. yes, we are in college and its time to relax but these issues are going to haunt us. shes absolutely wonderful, i love each other very much, and i deeply care about her. we are very committed to each other. its just these things i dont like at all and makes me worried. so, what do i do? do i stand on the sideline and let the stress consume me? we have talked and she says that im controlling her and its her life. do i give in and change my schedule even though it wont be fair to my roommate (i share an apartment) and screw up my work schedule? not fair to me... also, is she being unfair by not meeting a happy medium? im willing to... does she not care about me because shes not willing to change or even meet a medium? i cant drink and i don't party. should i live my life and let her live hers? but thats not much of relationship because when we finally live together a square peg wont fit in a round hole... a tad extreme but, should i restrict my communication time (work schedule will be used) so if she wants to talk it will be only in the morning? who is being unfair? am i complaining and worrying too much? should i be worried about how much alcohol she is consuming? is she the bad person by not wanting a happy medium with our lifestyles? am i too closed minded about her lifestyle even though its the complete opposite of me? am i wasting my time? did i just disprove the theory of opposites attract? will she settle down after college and getting a career? What should i do??? Just as summary, i dont stay up really late and dont like that shes stays up really late(and sleeps in really late) and i dont party and i dont like that she parties. the amount of alcohol she consumes also creates a stir. I feel that our differing lifestyles are finally clashing resulting in no time for talking or together time.... | |||
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