| I'm at uni, and I personally like to play sports, run for committees, go out clubbing loads and that sort of thing. I'm on course for a First but I just like to get involved and do loads of things as well as study all the time. I'm also very feminine and people say I'm a bit flirty. I find geeky guys really attractive in certain ways. Partly the fact that they're so different from me, intelligent, and a lot of the guys I know from my friend groups are actually just "lads" who don't really want a proper relationship and are just looking for a "quick shag" and a high five from their mates. There has been so much drama with the usual type of people I mix with at uni regarding people cheating on partners and whatnot, I've never dated within them at all. Even the "nice guys" always have mates who encourage "laddish" behaviour, and I'm just too scared to date a guy on a sports team or something if I know there's a good chance he'll be peer pressured into cheating on me by his mates on their next night out. The boys I dated at home were all serious and sensible, but they didn't go to uni and stayed in my home town to do apprenticeships and stuff like that. Sometimes I miss their down-to-earth attitude and friendliness as opposed to the rather arrogant attitude of most of the "lads" I know at uni. If my parents weren't well off and I didn't look and dress a certain way I would have a much harder time fitting in at uni. Lots of people here are in no hurry to grow up. The problem is, though, I find geeky guys (like most of my coursemates) attractive in some ways but then there is some stuff that just seems like a deal breaker. They just don't really seem to get me. When I tell them I have lots of friends (my close girl friends) or go out clubbing a lot, they end up insinuating I'm shallow. When I try to be friendly with them - not fake and pretentious, actually try to get to know them a bit - they're always really sarcastic, as though they have to gain the upper hand. One geeky guy whom I liked on my course and tried to talk to made fun of me for not knowing some guy who'd acted as Doctor Who ages ago! And whenever I tell them I do loads of sports and eat really healthily they try to make out I'm being neurotic about my appearance or have an eating problem or something. Another time, me and an acquaintance from the student newspaper were really drunk and wound up making out on a night out. He kept trying to get me to go back to his, and eventually I just pushed him away and walked off as he was being really aggressive (as in, grabbing my hands and putting them up his top and everything) and not listening to me. The next day, I had to explain to all my friends why I wasn't a "bitch" as he had told our other friends for "leading him on." I often find this among geeky guys - they see me as an object and not a human being with actual opinions, and act like the stereotypical "nice guy" and get annoyed when I don't reciprocate their affections. I like a nice intelligent guy, but how can I find one who doesn't resent me for who I am and appreciates the fact I'm not the stereotypical "geeky girl?" Am I fighting a losing battle here? | |||
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