Why and how one spouse has more control in a relationship

I maybe wrong but my observation is that one of the major reason for extramarital affair is that one of the spouse has more control in a relationship. The other is either a codependent or a peace-maker. I changed from so called alpha to peace-maker. After constant fight/argument etc, I found that for me, peace-of-mind is more important than anything else. So I started drifting away and I almost gave up on the relationship and I was waiting for the disaster to happen !!! My drifting has caused my WS who has more control in the relationship to get into affair because from her angle, I'm just a passive guy. So what I found is that irrespective of what I've done or not done in my marriage, the affair was bound to happen because the way one spouse exhibits total control over other. Is my observation true?

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