| So I went to see off my ex-girlfriend and her mother (who is blind) at the airport (I drove her there from her university, and her uncle drove her mother). I'm trying to get it in with her again, if ya know what I mean. Anyway, as we entered the initial lobby area we went looking for them, and found her uncle standing outside the women's toilets, obviously waiting for her mother to finish her business. As she came out of the toilets my ex introduced me as her friend and the blind mother asked if she could feel my face. I thought nothing of it and agreed. Oh how wrong I was...she lifted her hands and I could see the remenents of crusty fecal matter in the creases of her hands and beneath her fingernails. The smell of wrinkled ******* just HIT me right in the face as she started carressing my nose and cheeks, specks of brown jumping from her hands like lemmings into my eyes and nostrils and mouth. My ex was talking with her uncle as her mother was doing this, so they were as surprised as her when I shoved her back into the wall and started spitting flakes of nutty poo off my tongue. The mother went down, her head had bounced straight off the wall and she suffered a concussion. The uncle punched me four or five times once he had taken in what had just happened, so I have this scar on my cheek now... My ex and her mother almost missed their flight as the paramedics wondered whether or not she should be sent to the hospital, but thankfully they got that excrement dispersing bitch on board the plane, otherwise they might have wanted me to pay for the ticket. However, the uncle is now threatening to press charges. How do I go about explaining my side of the story, and justify that I was right to shove this old bat? (see what I did there btw? bats are blind haha  ) But seriously, help :S | |||
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