| Me and my boyfriend have been together 2 years. We never really used to fight until the start of this year. He just started university this year, he's 22. I began to develop some trust issues in him (i found out he did something that had upset me and then he promised he wouldn't do it again, but he did - it was just a little thing, but still it made me lose trust in him) and then this term and University he has started going out with friends he made. Firstly it was just two boys, both just out of school (so obviously a lot more immature), but he'd never say if he was going out and if he did he wouldn't say where or who he was out with. It never bothered me that much because he maintained that these two boys were his only friends at University. He then invited two girls i'd never heard of to his birthday and when i asked who they were he just said some people at university that he'd invited to 'be polite'. During this time he'd also been planning to smoke weed with his friends but had kept it from me. I had accidentally found it when looking for a pair of my shoes at his house and when I asked him about it he said he hadn't told me because he thought i might be upset, so he'd just been planning to do it behind my back even though he thought it would upset me. Then one of the girls asked for his phone number and I said I felt uncomfortable with these girls I had never met and didn't know having his phone number. If they wanted to talk to him they could do it on facebook or at university, they didn't need to be phoning or texting him. Whilst I understand that is a normal part of university life to give your phone number to lots of people, my boyfriend is not sociable like that, so it seemed strange. He didn't give her his number, but then he told me they were all going for a night out. I told him I felt a bit uncomfortable because I didn't know these girls, I already had trust issues with him because he had kept things from me, and I was a bit worried, not that he'd cheat on me, but I just felt anxious. I asked him to keep in contact with me throughout the night and asked if we could meet up at the end of the night and walk home together. He didn't keep in touch and ended up going to a nightclub with them. My friend had left early and I didn't just want to go home and end up upset for the rest of the night so I stayed out and tried to get in contact. Eventually he got back to me at half 2 saying that he hadn't seen his phone and he was 'sorry' even though I'd told him i was outside in the freezing cold for almost an hour not knowing what to do. 10 minutes later he passed me at the casino that I had gone to wait in because I was so cold, he obviously hadn't even felt guilty about hurting me. Then I found out that both girls had his number and he theirs and he had kept it from me, even though he has promised me they didn't have his number or them have his. Then one of the girls had a house party and I said I felt uncomfortable because house party's are different from nights out to the pub. I said to him that with house partys he should be bringing me with him (he'd already said to me previously that he would bring me to house partys etc, but he'd never been invited to one). He told me he would leave the party but then text me later on in the night to ask if he could go, and when I said i minded if he went, he ignored me and went anyway, knowing I was upset. He told me he would bring me out with them and let me meet everyone the next time he went for a night out with them (I feel I should be included in his social life) and then went to the cinema and pub with them all a few days ago and didn't invite me, infact he actually lied to me about who was going, saying it was just the two boys. Everything has made me develop more trust issues in him, bit by bit, and made me feel like I don't matter to him anymore now that he's got friends at University. One of the girls birthdays is in a few days. He is meant to be out with the two boys that night, celebrating after an exam, but he said he doesn't know how long he will stay out for, if he will see these girls or if he will go to the night out. I've told him that I can't go through another night feeling anxious and upset and that I don't want him to go for another night out for these girls that i know nothing about and am pretty sure don't even know that he's in a relationship. He just refuses to include me, and because we're arguing a lot, says he will include me when the arguing stops, but I don't feel like I can back down until he starts including me. I would feel fine about him going to this birthday night out if he brought me with him and allowed me to meet these people. I don't know what to do and I feel like my feelings are being brushed aside and I feel unimportant. Help? | |||
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