The dilemma of wanting children

Anxious to hear from men here as many mommies always want to criticize my posts… I'm 30 and have been with my girlfriend for 5 years and I have lately been feeling the urge to tie the knot (mostly from her). I feel she is the right partner for me on so many levels, but one thing I cannot understand about myself is how I feel about having children. To put it bluntly, I do not have a desire at all. My mother recently told me that my father didn't have a desire for children either, but loved them once we were born. I wouldn't agree with that entirely, although he never acted mean towards us he was completely unwilling to attend sporting events, recitals, etc. So he was kind of a half-committed parent. And my mom attended events, but had a bad attitude as a mother (mostly due to mental instability). It wasn't a terrible/scarring childhood, but it definitely didn't leave a great impression on me as to how enjoyable having a family could be. On one hand I'd be worried my parenting abilities would be similar, and that's just one reason having children doesn't have much allure to me. I also feel like I am selfish now at 30 in that I want to spend my money on me and my girlfriend, I want to be able to sleep in and not go to a kid's soccer game at 8am on a Saturday, and I want to be able to not worry about the choices my children might make in life to disappoint me. My girlfriend knows all this and knows I don't necessarily want children but would if she wanted them (which she does). I feel like many guys I know come to this crossroads, too: either marry and have children even if children aren't your main goal, or stay single and potentially lonely later in life. Not that I want to settle down because it's my only chance—I really do love this girl. But I feel like my perspective on children will never change no matter the partner. Sure there is a possibility I could meet another great female that doesn't want kids, but is that worth giving up what I have now? Maybe down the road the other girl in question has insecurities that are more painstaking than children are with my current partner. So in a nutshell I want to know if many men always wanted kids or if some men found true love and succumbed to having children, although they didn't necessarily want the latter. If I should absolutely, unequivocally want children then I may have a problem here. I also don't like when (mostly mommies) say don't worry, you will soon want to have kids. A lot of people don't want sushi and you don't go around telling them soon they will like sushi, do you? I also see a ton of people who rave about how awesome their life was without children, but sometimes I wonder if many of these people just missed the opportunity to have kids and made the most of it versus always breaking up with otherwise great partners because of their attitude. I don't know? Truthfully I just don't know how to assess my attitude about children—apprehensive, wrong, right, or completely normal? Thanks for any input.

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