| In advance, I'm sorry that this is so long. I feel like I got "led on" by my in-laws. They were all so nice to me before my wife and I got married. My wife and I were only dating for 9 months before we got married, but during that time her parents expressed NO issues with me. My wife and I went and visited her father and stepmother once every other month. (They live 9 hours away. Then, we planned our wedding and sent out the invitations, only for my father-in-law and his wife to decide 2 weeks before our wedding that they weren't coming. My father-in-law made up some excuse about having to work. This NEVER came up during the planning or when we told them as soon as we set a date. My wife and I were really upset, but we decided to continue as we'd spent all the money and DID want to marry each other and be together. So, we got married without her parents' involvement... They didn't send a gift or a card. They didn't want pictures or to see the videos.... Nothing. We tried not to think much of it, but a few weeks after our wedding, my wife got a phone call from her stepmom. They were arguing because my wife was still upset that they would miss such an important occasion. My wife was driving, so the call was on bluetooth, and I could clearly hear her stepmom say that they didn't come because they were "embarrassed" by me being half-black. This wasn't something my wife or I knew was an issue until then. My wife got off the phone and apologized to me. Clearly, I was upset. I actually considered getting an annulment because I did NOT want to deal with racist folks for the rest of my life. I didn't even bring this up to my wife. I just continued to love her, and our marriage flourished as long as my in-laws weren't involved. Then, whenever we would go visit my in-laws, or whenever they visited here (never visited US once, just came to see my sister in law who also lived here and haven't been here since my sister in law moved almost a year ago), they would dish out insults to me or tell stories about "disgusting people" aka "black people". I can't even count how many times my wife has apologized for them, but she never stood up to them in front of me. She swears she's had multiple conversations with them, trying to get this behavior to stop. After a while, my wife and I decided that we couldn't take it. We weren't willing to let her parents' stupidity and judgment destroy our marriage. We focused on our life together and had a baby who's now barely a year old, and we have another baby due in less than 2 months, and everything is so perfect,... My wife talks to her father here and there, but they've never ONCE come to visit our 1 year old, and they've had NO involvement in either pregnancy, nor have they even tried to help us out at all or do any of the other "Grandparent" stuff. Still,...... My wife wants US to become closer to these people so our children can get to know them. My wife wants us to go visit them after our second baby is born and wants me to be trapped in their home with them saying things about me in front of our children???? For the record, they came here to help my sister-in-law move, so we drove to them to let them meet our baby when he was 4 months old. My wife worked to get them to spend time with us, so they "let" us take them out to dinner. We were driving them home from dinner when they sat there, talking about how "disgusting" someone they met was for being black and white (like me). Yes, our baby was only 4 months old, but not only did this show that they weren't willing to STOP, but they expressed this hate in front of our child. I understand loving your parents and wanting them to be a part of your life... but I am not willing to deal with this. My wife and I have been on the verge of divorce over this time and time again. The only thing I can bring myself to say is for my wife to go ahead and take her old life back, but I'm not willing to be a part of it, and I really don't want our children around that either. She keeps telling me how "unfair" it is that I don't want us to have any part of them, but she can't see how unfair it is for our children and myself to have to be exposed to that? I want to walk away so badly, but I do NOT want to lose my kids... and I love my wife so much, I don't want to have to leave her, either. What would you do? | |||
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