i need someone to talk to, help and advice.

I am new to this and I am looking for some advice on my situation and what to do, please be gentle with me as I have nothing left in my life at the moment, so here is my story. I have been married for 11 years in May, this year, I have three beautiful children, aged 5, 6 & 9, I love my wife dearly and 8 weeks ago, my wife dealt me a massive blow…, she wanted a divorce, she didn't love me anymore, and I was absolutely devastated, the following week, I did all I could to reconcile but nothing, culminating in her telling me she would be gone out of the door some day and take our children with her, I couldn't cope with what I was hearing, and I felt as if I would never see my children again, it got to the point of no return for me and I did what I will regret for the rest of my life, I hung myself at home the following morning and had to be airlifted to hospital and spent a further 6 days in a mental institution, (as my wife didn't want me home). I am still recovering, I have seen my children a few times, but my wife went to the police stating that I was a threat to her and the children, and when I found out I was devastated, from there 4 weeks ago I went to court, and had to have a restriction order placed on me as my wife filed for this from advice from a neighbour I presume. I was in a place I would never have thought I would ever be…., my wife and my children are my world, and I have never been unfaithful, but I have took my wife for granted like I guess anyone would, but for me I have learned the hard way. So in the past 7 weeks I have lost my marriage, my children, my business, have personal guarantees calling for their money, and I just don't know where to turn. My wife is being really nasty to me and I can't explain why, I have done a lot of soul searching and I have so much to tell you I just don't want to bore you with a 10000 word letter!! My life is upside down, I have begged and pleaded with my wife, she is not listening, she wants me out of her life, and now she wanted me out of my children's lives. Bear in mind, I am a strong willed individual, successful in his own business, whom dotes on his wife and kids. All I have ever done is worked hard and provided for my family; we have a fantastic house, villa abroad, nice cars, great lifestyle, live in the country, but look where it's got me…. I am now living in a one bedroom bedsit, my wife has took all the money from accounts, sold a house I had in my sole name, I signed a form the week before I did what I did, as she said it's for capital gains tax saving, when actually I was signing the house over to joint names, the house sold and she took ¾ of it and left me with 20k, I placed this in my business as it was struggling, and now it's gone, my family have gone, and I am alone in a crappy bedsit. No money, no contact with people and just can't seem to pull myself together, I am trying desperately to get back, but it makes things worse. I am 42 years old, I would say I am not bad looking, I am successful, but not it looks like in the one thing I ever wanted and that was my wife and children, I miss them dearly. I have my faults, I work hard and I am away a lot, but we have a large overhead and I need to bring home the money, I have never harmed my wife and children in any way, and the book no more Mr nice guy, is half true about me!! I want to do the 180, the no contact thing, but…., I need to see my kids, 4 hours a week, but my wife has to supervise them, so I can't do the no contact!! Please can I get offered some advice on what I should do?!?! My children are everything to me, and I feel like the knot in my stomach is getting bigger. My health is suffering badly, has gone from being 105 kg, down to 68kg, and people whom know me are shocked to see me this way. I struggle to sleep, as all I see is my children upset with what my wife has done to our family unit, we had the perfect family, but I was wrong, my wife didn't see it that way, and she seems not bothered about the effect on our children, and I am powerless as I tried to kill myself, my wife reminds me every day about this when I tell her to stop being like she is, and think of the children…. I don't blame my wife, but I do the way she did it, I don't think anyone else is involved, but the way things have been pre meditated it is making me think…. I just wish I could turn back the clock, I can't and I need some advice on what to do to get back with my family, but I have a monkey on my back with what I did, as I couldn't deal with the shock of what my wife told me. I love her dearly, even though she is still being hard and nasty towards me, I still want to try to get my unit together…. Thanks for reading my post.

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