The was bad, now good, what worked, marriage comeback thread

We started off redder than red hot for about 4 years. Then we had a crappy marriage develop from my neglect and ignorance of my wifes needs. We fixed it. Been married 13 years. Our success story follows. 1st round of trouble and her ultimatum 6 years in my wife gave me an ultimatum that things had to change or she didnt think she could stick with me. I got my zhit together quick from reading, learning and applying. I was a workoholic, emotionally unavailable and totally ignorant to what she needed and how to be a good husband. We turned it around and it got red hot for several more years but the work was unfinished mostly on her end once I got my zhit down right. 2nd round of trouble and my ultimatum About 3 years ago she started getting lazy about my needs while I was keeping up my end of the deal and I reemed her that I wasnt happy and that she isnt living up to her own standards for me and she got her zhit together quick also and it got warned up pretty good and our friendship and faith in each others commitment and love redeveloped and strengthened quite a bit. 3rd round of trouble - unbalanced HD LD issue We fixed this two ways. Communication, "just do it" the desire will come once we get started and don't self-reject. Toughen up and go for it because we wont die from rejection and at the minimum the other person will feel desire and that is always a good thing for the friendship, love, marriage and sex life. I learned that I set the rythm. I was self-rejecting a lot and that sprialed past what made sense at the time. I stopped doing that and it made everything better and increased her drive from my desiring and "taking" her/ My self-rejecting caused her to not feel desired. I was a rejection wimp and gave that up for an assertive initiator and that made her more sexual as well so she now initiates a lot more as well and can also take rejection. We get it now and have discussed it in detail to keep in on track. Success! We now have a fun, hot, loving marriage and know how to communicate immediately when things get effed up so we can take it out with the trash right away. It has been well worth fighting for nd we both have grown immensely for the better of ourselves and each other. Your turn. Please dont hijack and if you are going to post a wall of text, please use lots of paragraph breaks and white space :D

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