| Short story...my husband had an affair with a female coworker. He came home after 3 months to work on the marriage. Three years of lies and deceit and I finally have had enough. Husband and I got into a huge fight and he went to jail for hitting me. Now my husband I are dealing with a huge mess in the legal system. Add into this that my husband is now having some problems at work. He got himself into trouble for talking back to him boss. He is extremely tired and is not thinking straight. He doesn't live with me and our daughter, but we are working with a huge team of people trying to get through everything. Lots of counseling and classes for both of us. My daughter informed me a couple of days ago that my husband was at work with her shortly after he got out of jail and my husband was talking to the OW on the phone. I already knew about this. You know...know your friends, know enemies better? That's me. Anyway, the OW and her boyfrie nd where having a huge fight. The OW says it was because of the boyfriend was on drugs and he was "tweaking out." The boyfriend posted on Facebook that she was "crazy and freaking out" and he asked for a friend of his to drive and come get him so he wouldn't go to jail for hitting her. So...my husband and I are doing really well and we were making some HUGE progress. We have a major stumbling block in the sense that I hold ALL the cards right now and my husband could go back to jail in the blink of an eye. I love my husband and I know that he loves me. I know now that he doesn't want to be with the OW, he wants to be able to get passed his post traumatic stress syndrome so that he could come back home. I know the friendship with the OW is going to be addressed to its fullest in his classes and counseling as this was the basis of why we were fighting in the first place.. So, some changes will come about. My husband and I had an awesome conversation last night and we went to sleep as a semi happy family. This morning I woke up and there was a message on Facebook that the boyfriend wants to meet with me to discuss some questions that he has about this relationship between my husband the OW. I don't know what to do because I want to tell him everything that has been going on because he is the other person that has been lied to and deceived. If I talk to him, I could open a can of worms and loose all the progress I have made with my husband. What if he is into drugs and goes after my husband and they get into a fight and my husband ends up in jail again? If I talk to him, he could go to my husband's job where they already know there has been an affair between my husband and OW. If I talk to him, he could go to the OW and abuse her. He could confront OW and tell her that he knows what's been going on and he is going to leave. Every scenario I think of, I think of it affecting my life seriously and I end up loosing everything I have w orked hard for. But, I am torn because he deserves to know. And I know I won't have my husband back 100% if they are still so called friends. Husband doesn't know that I know about the conversation he had with the OW. Is there away to go about talking to the boyfriend and not causing more problems ? What would you do? I don't want my husband to be the OW friend, but if he has been helping her with an abusive situation then I feel like crap. But, I don't feel like crap for speaking my mind and saying their relationship beyond work is waaay to close for my comfort. Please notice I said we are getting help for the hitting. He knows it was wrong and he has gone beyond what the legal system requires for him to get help and not do this again. I need help with the boyfriend and what to do next not with the fact that I am with my husband still or not because of the hitting. Thank you to anyone who offer advice. This is scary... |
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