| Back in August my wife went out with a few of her girlfriends to a bar after work. At the bar they met 3 men from another country that had been visiting. My wife and her friends all spent the evening talking with these three and by the end of the night made friends. For my wife, this is not all that unusual as she is a very sociable person and easy to get along with. After a few weeks she became infatuated with their hometown. She spent late evenings studying this city and it wasn't long before she was asking about us visiting these guys on a vacation. At first I thought the idea was kind of cool but seeing as we own our own business the logistics simply would not work this year. She talked me in to allowing her to begin planning a weekend to this city with another girlfriend of hers (one completely unrelated to her work friends mentioned before.) I thought she could use some time away and never really had any negative thoughts. She began planning the trip in October and decided to put money down on a hotel for two. About a week later her friend backed out of the trip. She tried to find someone else to take here friends place, but no one could go on the short notice. With her hotel stay slated for March, she reluctantly decided to go on the weekend trip alone. I helped her book a flight at the beginning of February. Two weeks later, she messaged me while I was away from home telling me that she was having trouble with her cell phone. When I got home, she was asleep and I thought I would go ahead and check out her phone to see what was wrong. After getting the phone to finally take a charge and turn back on, I discovered numerous Facebook messages coming in from one of the 3 men. They were saying quite a few inappropriate things back and forth like "I love you" and talking about sending each other dirty photos. Upon further research, I could not tell that anything actually went on. I woke my wife up and confronted her with serious anger. She immediately got extremely upset and promised me that it had been just a long running joke. How they joked around about how it could be viewed as having an affair with how much they talk. She told me that the dirty picture thing never happened and it was all just a part of their inside joke. We did not speak for 3 days following this. It was absolute hell on the both of us. On the 4th day I gave in, but I made it clear that her privacy in this house through social networking and cell phone usage was currently null and void. She said that she didn't care and that all she wanted was me. We recovered from this incident and wrote it off with the feeling that she was indeed telling the truth. I reluctantly made a last minute decision on allowing her to continue with the trip under one stipulation. She was not allowed to see any of the guys she had met. She agreed and told me that she had not spoken to any of them since February. She flew out on March 22nd and we quickly realized that Sprint had not come through on the international calling package so the only communication we had was through Facebook. She checked in often and told me all the things she was doing. Everything seemed to be on the up and up. She did not stay out late and got back to me often when I was worried. The day she flew home, I was on her computer at work when I noticed that the guy in question, had "Poked" her through Facebook. This was odd because I checked up on her page often and he had completely vanished for a month. I decided to message him and play the role of my wife. I discovered from the conversation that she did see him on the Saturday night with friends at a bar there. My wife landed in NYC for a connecting flight and I immediately confronted her over the phone about my findings. She was pissed. I told her that I wanted to know everything and she had told me that back in October they had numerous sexting conversations and did send a few photos back and forth. However, she claims that they both felt uncomfortable and mutually terminated it. I was absolutely crushed. She returned home later that night and we had a talk about the whole thing. She claims that nothing happened other than she saw her friends against my will on Saturday night. After she fell asleep, I discovered through her phone that not only did she him with friends on Saturday, but he met her at the subway station. He walked her back to her hotel and they hung out all day on Friday. I immediately thought the worst and that this at some point became physical, but I had no proof and between the 333 messages that were sent back and forth that weekend, nothing contained anything explicit. The problem is, the more I dig, the more lies I find. I do not know what to do. I truly do believe her that nothing physical happened. But how could she not understand that she was involved in an emotional affair for a long time. Not only that but she put our whole marriage at risk by making her stupid decisions while away. I have no trust for her and I don't know if I ever will. | |||
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