| Hi all. I really didn't know where to put this... I have been married five years. Had some rocky times, but have been in a really good place since a big crisis about a year ago. My ex contacted my sister on Facebook and now they're friends. He asked about me and my sis was (thankfully) quite vague. But it brought stuff up for me... I don't have romantic feelings for my ex, but we were both really messed up and did and said some not nice stuff to eachother. I left him in the end and if I could go back I would have softened the blow... i was harsh and insensitive in how i went about it, and just wanting to escape myself from everything. He ended up ODing and then drove to my place after he woke up from the drugs and I had to call the cops. I had to end the friendship because he was messed up over me, and then he started turning up everywhere, at my workplaces, my house, stuffing presents through my door, calling my landline after i changed my mobile number. In the end I came really close to getting an AVO. Not cos he was violent but he wasn't respecting my boundary. I kind of stuffed it all away, but the stuff that's coming up for me at the moment is... i saw a photo of him on his Facebook and it made me really sad... he seems like he's been through a really bad time over a period of years, and is starting to get his life on track now. I just felt really sad for him, i know it's not my fault because he had alot going on anyway, but i feel like i really messed him up and if he died that night that he ODed i would have had that on my conscience. And i thought... if he died tomorrow, i would feel really remorseful that I never said sorry to him, that i never meant to cause so much pain. My husband knew I was a bit upset yesterday when my sis contacted me at work about it, because i rang him and was almost crying on the phone. He doesn't really know why i'm up set, he probably just thinks i'm troubled that he's in contact with my family after the AVO stuff. I was thinking of talking to him and seeing if he would be okay if I sent my ex a letter or a message on Facebook making amends and saying sorry for all the pain I caused him in his life. On the other hand, maybe it's more about me, maybe i'm being selfish, because if i did that, would I just be ripping his heart open again and opening all this stuff up after he's been trying to heal? But then why is he in contact with my sister? What do you guys think? Do you think it's not a good idea to contact an ex, even in the event that I do get my hubby's approval? ...... I had a big cry tonight because i just feel so awful that i caused so much pain for him and what seems to have been a several year breakdown Would really like your thoughts... QuietSoul | |||
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