Divorcing, Wife moved on to OM already

I have a thread in Going Through Divorce and Separation here where my story is set out. A few helpful people over there suggested that I post something here since infidelity has become an increasingly important part of my story. Very briefly - WAW disengaged big time and got very secretive back in Oct/Nov last year. I ignored the red flags, hoping it was only a phase. She had a long distance EA (emails/texts only) during this period but she met up with the guy once and it crashed. I think that she also had a few "dry run" dates and met a few guys. She dropped the D-bomb on me late January and was completely unwilling to even talk about R. She was done. Almost immediately (within a week or two) she starts a relationship with a different guy she had met in October/November - clearly he had been hovering in the background all this time although she denies this - claims that he just magically appeared out of nowhere at exactly the right time. She starts disappearing for days at a time each weekend. It's clear what's going on but she won't tell me or the kids (15 & 13) what she's up to (lied when asked if there is OM and otherwise hides behind excuse that it's nobody's business - including her kids - what she gets up to). A few weeks ago she manoeuvred us (me + kids) out of the way so that she could go off for a dirty weekend with OM - lying about what she was doing that W/E. Now the kids are smart and have worked this out, so they confront her and the truth comes out. But it makes no difference. She carries on as before, even though she knows her kids disapprove and are upset that she is still sneaking around and still chooses to spend so much time with OM - time that she could be spending with them. Divorce is ongoing and that has a big impact on this too. Lawyer has strongly advised against investigating or exposing as this looks stalker-like and/or vindictive. In any case, I already know all I need to know (who and when - what and where is not important and I don't want to know details anyway). She is already exposed to the people who matter most in her life (our kids) and she carries on despite their disapproval. [Conrad has encouraged me to expose her to her parents, but they won't care, they will have less influence on her than her kids, and lawyer says this would be a suicidal move legally]. I believe that she has been introduced to his circle of friends and colleagues and they welcome her with open arms - so no exposure to be done there. I think that there is very little hope of R anyway - things are too far gone - but certainly no hope at all whilst POSOM is in the picture. She is a fully fog-bound WAW and OM keeps her firmly in the fog. She will only realise what she is walking away from with a very hard landing back in the land of reality - and even them I'm not sure that she will fully realise. Any thoughts, CWI friends?

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