| I'll try to make this as short as possible. Married 20+ years, separated 3 months. Married young, 19 and 20. He's a good guy, good father. We have two children, 12 and 19. We've never had an argument. I probably married him to escape a painful, dysfunctional home with an alcoholic father where I had too much responsibility too soon. At the time, I didn't really realize that. He provided stability and I thought I loved him in the right way. We've always lacked closeness, but I didn't want to acknowledge that I may have made a wrong choice, because being married forever is what I thought I'd have. But, I think I chose a guy that could provide me stability, maybe not a guy that I could love in the right way. So, we've put ourselves into raising our children and all of you memories of joy are there. There are none of just the two of us. Now the children are older and we are realizing how dysfunctional things have been. We've been in a ver y conservative church and haven't felt ok bringing up the problems. Oh, and our physical relationship has been difficult since day one of our marriage. Ever single time has been a chore for me, to the point that now I can't tolerate any touch at all. I'm miserable in the marriage and I feel awful for making a promise that I now know I can't keep. How do you forgive yourself for that? Has anyone else been where I am? |
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