| I am new here:) I am in a live in relationship of 12 years. I have been through hell with this guy and stood beside him through all of it. After we were living together for one year and raising his kids that his ex wife had abandoned....she came back and sued for custody. we went through a 5 year legal battle that we won and cost 75k...a bunch of which i shelled out as well. i also at this time sold a house i owned and bought a nicer, bigger house in his state to raise his kids. we have been through a lot but are really compatible and love each other. we spend a lot of great quality time together but also give each other the room to grow and pursue who we are individually as well. win win:) we have set up a nice life and the kids are really happy and content in their lives ( mom disappeared again after losing the custody battle but occasionally emails one of the kids)..they are 15 now..boy girl twins. heres the problem.... a couple of years before BF and i met....while he was still going through hell with his ex and not divorced yet....he was hanging out with a girl at work that he was infatuated with...and supposedly vice versa. she went on to get married and have a child. she has been emailing him every couple of years or more often...to say hi...woulda shoulda coulda been etc....what would have happened had we hooked up...can we go see so and so band....you know the drill. well for 12 years he has ignored the beckoning as he calls it...said he was in a relationship...blah blah blah. well....one got through...he basically set up to try to hang with here while i was away once....it didnt happen but after i came back he did lie to me and go hang out with her. now he is an awesome guy ( usually:) we are very honest and open with each other. i knew something was up and he spilled. he was the one to contact her this time...and then told her to go away. she is now emailing him constantly.. .wanting to hook up this time. he promised me we were done with this 6 mths ago and our relationship has been great...but she is back again...and he is open again. he is at the point where he swears he wants to be with me and will tell her to go away. i am just so unsure. she is like a stalker chic...she wont go away...and i am not sure i can live with this. i have a great escape plan hatched to leave state and set myself up pretty decently in florida. i am in the northeast...so if i go...i will NEVER be able to financially return to the NE...not that i want to...i hate snow and the only reason i am here is him and the kids. i am also 48 and he is 37....i am afraid that as i get old...i wont be able to depend on him as a partner and i really dont want to re invent myself again in my 50's..not that i cant.....i would just prefer to do it now..not later. i am financially independent and a business owner ( also something i would have to pick up and move ,,which can be done:) wow...sorry for the novel on my first visit:( sunny ( hehe...this is actually my nickname:) funny huh? | |||
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