Any LDs want to take responsibility instead of blaming HD

Here is the crap I heard yesterday that made me want to hurl. 1. If the HD spouse isn't satisfied it's their fault. 2. It isn't an LD spouse can't effectively and honestly communicate what the problem is. It isn't hormonal issues, uncomfortable bed, sleep apnea, medication side effects, post partum depression, other types of depression, shifting levels of energy, body image issues, manipulation, bait and switch, poor attitude, lack of understanding of the importance of sex in a satisfying marriage, selfishness, ignorance and other seemingly plausible explanations, etc. 3. Nope it's none of those things. The reason an LD spouse is LD is because the HD is an idiot that has not met the needs of their former HD spouse during the initial phase of a relationship. If it were not for that then sex would be rockin the house down. 4. HD's should get over it 5. Relabeling the common meaning of words like "need" is all you have to do to feel good about not getting the quantity of sex you feel entitled to when you end of the bargain is held up and the LD end is not. 6. The LD spouse doesn't think the HD spouse is "worth" having sex with in the HD quantity and quality. 7. All the HD spouse needs to do is look in the mirror and ask themselves why do you eff things up like that. Shame on you for being so unattentive, unaffectionate, unapreciative and unnappealing. tell yourself three times, You don't NEED sex in HD quantity or quality and everythng will work out. 8. A TAM member whom shall remain nameless claimed she could "tell how I was" and therefore knew it was my fault and that my spouse had deep unresolved resentments toward me. 9. That it is "my" issue and is not "our" issue I am a good provider, father and husband with more than sufficient attention, affection, respect and generosity toward my wife and children, We are a warm loving family. My wife comes and goes as she pleases with my full support and still she prefers to be home 27 evenings a month unless with out me. We exchange much affection daily, communicate our love for each other, easily honor boundaries all of which are healthy and mutually agreed, and offer each other considerations and flexibility with relative ease and have the same values with a two exceptions, one of which has been resolved. 1. Dressing unsexy for bed when all other times there is thought and care put into appearance. This was resolved today following the suggestion of my wife and seconded by a wise female TAM member by going shopping for a more than generous quantity of appealing evening wear much to both of our excitement 2. Spouses LD I am very hard pressed to hang issue 2 around my neck as I read, implement, communicate, "look in the mirror" PLENTY to help the matter. My spouse on the other hand has been remarkably unhelpful, oblivious and stubborn about fixing it. Sorry LDs. It's her fault. I am pulling my weight. Get with it.

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