36 years old- sex in my marriage is NON-existent

I'm not sure what to say. My marriage lacks any sort of intimacy and sex. My wife never asks me for it. When I bug her enough, we have sex (last time was over a month ago) and I can tell it's a "let's get this crap over with" kind of thing. I guess some background is in order. We have two small kids, 4 and 14 months. The 14 month old is a constant priority. Constant. My wife's father found out he had cancer about a month into her second pregnancy. He's still battling it. Adding to this, I fear she has that much anxiety she could use some medication. But, as you probably know, any medication would wipe out her sex drive even more! What to do? I masturbate and look at porn a lot, imagining it could be us, because that's what I would rather be doing. Doing it with my wife! Don't get me wrong, I am as loving and supportive as a husband could be. But really not sure what to do.

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979